I Have a Cat

His name is Linus. I love his name.

I got him 'free to a good home'. But within a week or so, he had a cold in his eye, so I had to take him to the vet. It cost me like $85 or something ridiculous. I mean, he was this tiny, little thing. I couldn't believe he was already costing me money. So, he quickly inherited a middle name... PITA, which is short for Pain In The A$$.

All of my cats get my son's last name. So, this one was now Linus PITA-bread Underwoo. I added the 'bread' just because it rolled off the tongue better. As for the last name, the first D is silent and the second D is invisible. So, it's more like Unnerwoo. Linus PITA-bread Unnerwoo.

Before Linus, we had Peek-a-Boo and Lily. Again, I played with their names a bit. That's what I do. Peek-a-Boo became Peek-a-Durn-Boo Underwoo. And Lily... well, Lily had a really long name. It went with her really long tail. She was also a total tomboy, not afraid of anything. So, she became Lily Monster Moe With a Long Tail. Monster was pronounced more like Monser. Moe, just because it made the name roll better. And 'With a' was more like Wissuh. (She knew I was talking to her!) Peek-a-Durn-Boo Unnerwoo and Lily Monser Moe Wissuh Long Tail.

I actually have several nicknames for Linus...like he needed another nickname. I often call him Little Man Linus... pronounced L'il Man Linus. Of course, it made more sense when he was a kitten and well, little. Now, because he insists on living outdoors, he's fat and fuzzy. I assume he's fat because he's kind of in hibernation mode, what with winter coming on. He's fuzzy because his coat is coming in really thick. He'll thin down again as the weather warms up. But right now, he's fat and fuzzy...totally NOT a L'il Man Linus.

I also call him Linus-Felinus. It sounds very Latin and distinguished. I don't know if Linus can be described as either Latin OR distinguished. But it's cute. And Linus is cute. He's a cuddler and gives me a kiss before his dinner every night. He's definitely a cutie. So, I'm sure he'll hear that one again and again.

L'il Man Linus-Felinus PITA-bread Unnerwoo. My cat.