Lessons Learned

I’ve struggled the last couple of days with my emotions.  I have to say, that’s the first time since early in December.  I stop short of calling it depression.  I know how my depression makes me feel so low that I have no hope.  I had hope yesterday and the day before.  I honestly think I was just stressing about circumstances.

Stress can really take it out of a person.  I got myself so worked up over a meeting that I cried…that I couldn’t stop crying.  And as you might have guessed, the meeting went off without a hitch.  I spoke my piece; I listened to all responses.  And I ultimately felt better for having done so.  So why did I let myself get all worked up to the point where I cried and felt scared?

The short answer is, “I don’t know.  I honestly have no idea.”  You’d think I’d know better by now, how to incorporate the tips and tricks Robin has taught me and use them in my everyday life.  Take a step back.  Take a deep breath or two.  Look at the big picture.  Go to my happy place if I need to.  See, feel, hear those familiar and comfortable sounds.  Center myself strong.  And pray.

But we’re talking about my job here.  It’s important to me.  Not only do I want to stay employed, I want to stay employed in the job I’m currently holding.  And I want to do it well.  I enjoy it.  But sometimes I don’t feel smart enough to do it.  I wanted everyone to know that I’m doing my best and I want to continue doing my best, knowing that my best will only get better as time goes on.  I was only concerned that maybe they weren’t willing to wait for me to get better, that maybe my best wasn’t good enough at this point in time.

But that’s not the case.  They’re happy with me.  They said as much.  So I need to NOT let my emotions get the best of me.  I need to continue to focus on what I’m doing, doing the best I can for them.  And I need to continue to take care of myself by eating right, getting enough sleep, taking my meds, and praying.

I can do my part.  I WILL do my part.  No more forgetting my morning meds over the weekends.  No more skipping lunch.  No more staying up late to watch a football game and still expecting myself to get up at 5am for work.  And it’s time to get more physical and watch what I eat.  I can effect change in my mental health.  I’m worth it.  It’s time to prove that.

The Latest

First thing's first.  I was depressed from last Wednesday (the 18th) through yesterday (the 23rd).  But I feel GREAT today.  I was depressed through lots of work, an appointment with my psychiatrist, and an appointment with the cardiologist.  Good times [sarcasm].  But I'm encouraged that my depression only lasted six days.

So my appointment with my psychiatrist didn't go great.  I must first concede, she didn't get on my nerves nearly as much as she has in the past.  Maybe I was too depressed to care.  Maybe she was treating me with kid gloves because I was so obviously down.  And I know it's her job to determine when I should be admitted.  But discussing suicide with someone who is already depressed is not uplifting, needless to say. So I didn't even remotely enjoy the time spent with her.  Nothing new there.

Before I left, I talked with my counselor, who seemed a little concerned with how I was doing.  So he wants us to get together Wednesday.  But I'm feeling MUCH, MUCH better, so that appointment will go well.  Sometimes when I'm not feeling good, I don't look forward to my appointments with my counselor.  Actually that's not true.  ALL THE TIME when I'm not feeling well, I don't look forward to appointments with my counselor.  So I'm no longer dreading this appointment.  Bring it on!  He'll remind me of things I should say to myself when I'm down.  He'll teach me another trick or two to try to get my mind out of that bad head space.  I expect it'll be productive and well-spent.

My appointment with the cardiologist went very well.  He says that my heart is in GREAT shape.  Yea, me!  He also asked me if I was working out.  I told him that my primary care provider had me scared to death to raise my heart rate any higher and suggested that I walk without breaking a sweat.  The cardiologist told me to start working out 30 minutes a day.  So I need to do that.  (This eating 350 calories right before bed to accommodate the Latuda is quickly making me gain weight.)

He was well aware that I was depressed yesterday.  I told him that my psychiatrist has been mucking with my anti-depressants in an effort to get my heart rate to drop.  He wanted to make sure I knew that he never suggested to anyone that my anti-depressants were the culprit.  I assured him that my primary care provider championed that cause and my psychiatrist was more than happy to jump on board.  To help quell the continued science experiment, he suggested that I take a calcium blocker to lower both my heart rate and blood pressure.  I started taking that last night.  I'll follow-up with his nurse practitioner in a month to see if that works.

In the interim, I need to call my primary care provider to see if he wants me to stop taking the pill he put me on a year ago, to help lower my blood pressure.  There's really no need at this point for me to be taking two.  So I need to make that call.

Work has been busier lately.  But depression or not, I've been able to keep up.  Praise the Lord!

No day is better in my world than the day after a depression passes.  "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."  Psalm 118:24

The Old Ticker

So I know I talk/write about my challenges with depression regularly.  But it's not the only health concern I have.

I've been taking medication for high blood pressure for a couple of years now.  And its done it's job perfectly.  But lately I've had issues with an elevated heart rate.

It was brought to my attention on August 13th when my heart rate was too high to donate blood.  It was up to 118 that day.

So I started recording my blood pressure and heart rate shortly thereafter.  I have a cuff that fits around my left wrist and makes it easy for me to use.  My heart rate for the last (nearly) two months has averaged 102.6.

Do you know what they call a heart rate that's hit 100bpm?  Tachycardia.  I'm pretty sure I've only heard that word on shows like "ER" and "Grey's Anatomy".  Well I guess it could be used to describe my heart rate.

I'm sure it's related to my bad fitness level and the fact that I'm grossly overweight.  And I'm sure that's where my doctor will start my treatment plan... as well he should.  That doesn't mean I'm looking forward to it.  It's definitely not something I can fix overnight.

I was encouraged to make an appointment with my family doctor by my gynecologist who I saw Monday morning.  My blood pressure and heart rate were high at that appointment.  He asked what my primary care provider was doing about it.  I told him that I hadn't yet told him about the racing heart rate.  He suggested that I do so... and soon.

So I had an appointment this morning.  I ended up being there for two hours.  His primary concern was that it might be my anti-depressants.  And sure enough, after doing a bit of research, he was convinced.  But just to be on the safe side, we did blood work and an EKG.

He didn't like the T-waves on my EKG, saying that they could lead to an arrhythmia.  I've already received my initial blood work results.  I had six indicators that were out of normal range.  But I don't know how concerning they are.  All I really know is I have an appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow to discuss possibly changing or adjusting my meds.  And I have an appointment on Monday with a cardiologist.

So I'll know more in a week.  I'm looking forward to seeing Dr. Callaghan tomorrow.  She's a great psychiatrist.  But I'm a little nervous about mucking with my meds.  Right now, my depressive episodes are farther apart and don't last as long.  And transitioning from one set of meds to another was fairly painful the last time I had to do it.  But my primary care provider is convinced that my problem is being caused by my meds.  He just wants the psychiatrist and cardiologist to weigh in with any concerns.  So like I said, we'll know more in a week.

The Sun Is Rising

First of all, I'm feeling much better than I was last weekend.  I am once again depression-free.  Let's see how long I go this time.

I met with my counselor last weekend and he reminded me of all the things we've talked about in the last year, things I should be doing regularly to increase my chances of staying depression-free.  But I get complacent and stop doing them.  So I've created a schedule and put it on my refrigerator to remind me daily.  I need to be moving my body, challenging my mind, and focusing on taking better care of myself EVERY DAY.  So...

What I'm Reading
Fiction:  Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas (James Patterson)
Non-Fiction:  The Catholic Guide to Depression (Aaron Kheriaty, MD) How the Saints, the Sacraments, and Psychiatry Can Help You Break Its Grip and Find Happiness Again
Bible:  The New Testament from the Gospel of Matthew to Revelation.

I've read Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas before, but it was years ago.  It's an easy read and a sweet story.  As for the non-fiction... I have SEVERAL books that I've purchased in the last year or so and haven't taken the time to read them.  Now the time is scheduled on my calendar.  I'm also reading three chapters of the New Testament each day between now and the end of the calendar year.  I should be able to finish it by then.  Then I'll start on the Old Testament.  That'll take me a whole year!

How I'm Moving
Workout - Les Mills Combat 60-day schedule
Walking - three times per week

I love Les Mills Combat.  It's all punching and kicking.  Just over and over again, punching and kicking.  It makes me feel powerful.  But walking is probably the best workout for me right now as I'm so out of shape.  So three times a week, I'm going to get a significant walk in, at least two miles.

There are other things I've scheduled just because I've been slacking on doing them and it's affecting me negatively.

• My journal - I want to journal daily, just vent the good and bad so I can mentally and emotionally move on.
• A clean, organized, comfortable environment - I want to spend 15 - 30 minutes each day focusing on one room in my home, just to maintain a healthy environment without having to spend my entire weekend cleaning.
• A Budget - I want to get back to a strict budget.  I read Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover" last December and want to get back to his suggestions for saving money and getting out of debt.
• Writing - I want to write more often.  I used to write all the time, whether it was just a blog entry or the next chapter in my latest novel.  I miss the writing process and want to spend time on that again.  It'll be mentally challenging as well as creative.

I just want to be a better version of myself.  I want to follow my counselor's suggestions to focus on more positive things, healthier things.  And by doing these things -- moving my body, challenging my mind, and focusing on taking better care of myself -- I'll have a much better chance of fighting off depression before it takes over my life.  And if I do happen to slip into a depression, I'll have several positive options for distracting my mind.

That's my plan.  And I started yesterday.  (I usually wait until the first of something to start anything new.)  Yesterday, I successfully read three chapters of the Gospel of Matthew, read The Catholic Guide to Depression for 30 minutes, straightened my bedroom, and did Combat 30 (which kicked my butt).  Today, I'll take a walk after work, balance my budget, read three more chapters of the Gospel of Matthew, do the laundry, and get a Les Mills Combat workout in... all before having dinner with the girls tonight.  It's all good!

Now my next challenge is sticking with the plan even when I don't feel like it.

New Month, New Challenge

So I'm reading "Do Over" by Jon Acuff.  But as I walked three miles this morning, I listened to another Jon Acuff book, "Start".  I love the subtitles of this book... "Punch fear in the face.  Escape average.  Do work that matters."  I only walked for an hour, but I listened to the first two chapters of the book.  I'm already looking forward to listening to another chapter or so when I do this same walk tomorrow morning.

I find myself wanting to start new things on the first.  The first of the month is ideal, but the first day of the week works sometimes too.  I'm really not any good at starting something on a Thursday unless that happens to be the first day of the month.  But today is Saturday, the first of August.  It was a perfect day for starting something new.  Today, I started walking again.

I walked the SummerFest 5k route, though my FitBit insists that I only did 2.63 miles.  Still, it was a good walk and I feel great.  Like I said, I'll do it again tomorrow.  That's the plan!

I'm also going to make sure I spend time reading.  I want to do that every day. I'm in the middle of reading two different books.  And every week or so, I find another book I want to read.  I'll never get through all of those books if I don't spend some time reading every day.

This is what I'm reading right now...

1. Do Over - Jon Acuff
2. Total Forgiveness - R. T. Kendall

This is what I have on deck...

1. The Catholic Guide to Depression: How the Saints, the Sacraments, and Psychiatry Can Help You Break Its Grip and Find Happiness Again - Aaron Kheriarty, MD with Fr. John Cihak, STD
2. WordPress Web Design for Dummies
3. Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World - Michael Hyatt
4. The Yahoo! Style Guide: The Ultimate Sourcebook for Writing, Editing, and Creating Content for the Digital World

A couple of those are more for reference than for reading.  But I'll skim through them nonetheless.  I want to get my professional blog up and running and start pitching for freelance jobs.  So I bought a couple/few books to help out with that hustle. And I have another James Patterson book in the mail.  And I love me some fiction, so that one will likely jump to the top of the list.

I love to read.  I just need to make more time for it.  I need to make it a priority.  I'll learn a lot more from reading that I will from watching reruns of "The Waltons", regardless of how relaxing it might feel.  I've gotten into the habit of coming home from work, getting comfortable, and sitting in front of that wholesome family for a couple of hours decompressing from my day.  But it's not very productive.  I need to be/want to be a little more productive.  So I've challenged myself to spending that time walking and then reading.  It'll be good for me.  Just maybe not at the same time.

Find the Time

I don't even remember how I came across it now.  But I'm doing a Jon Acuff challenge called #DoSummer2015.  It's all about finding a task you want to focus on and improve on.  And stop telling yourself you don't have the time. He's only asking for 15 minutes a day.  That's it, just 15 minutes a day... for three months.  By the time you're done, you'll have 1500 minutes (or 25 hours) under your belt doing what you really wanted to do.

Jon Acuff writes about finding the time, if you'd like to hear it from a professional.

I think this might have started out as a way to better yourself as an employee or make yourself more marketable... by choosing a skill you wanted to enhance.  But I honestly wanted something NON-WORK related.  So I chose walking (which will be good for my mental and physical health) and bible reading (which will be good for my spiritual and emotional health).

We started June 8th and won't finish until we get to September 8th.

If you'd like to see more about #DoSummer2015, click here.  I love it when I have a chart I can update everyday with my progress.  Just like I like it when I have a list of things to do and can cross things off that list.  I don't know, maybe I'm strange that way.

At any rate, find the time to do something to get you closer to the person you want to be.  And enjoy it!

AFFIRMATIONS

1. I AM COMMITTED TO GETTING HEALTHIER... PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, & SPIRITUALLY.
2. I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.
3. I AM WORTH THE EFFORT.
4. I AM IN CONTROL OF MY EMOTIONS BECAUSE DEPRESSION IS MANAGEABLE.
5. I WILL LOSE 100 LBS.
6. I STAY THE COURSE EVEN WHEN I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
7. I MAKE MY DREAMS REALITY ONE DAY AT A TIME.
8. I HAVE MASTERED CONSISTENCY... THE KEY TO ANY SUCCESSFUL PLAN.
9. I CAN FINISH SOMETHING.
10. I WILL TOTALLY ROCK THIS.

#100HealthyDays

100 Days Challenge - Day 5

I have to say, I'm enjoying my checklist every day.  I make lots of notations and check marks in it.  But I am seeing a trend that I need to nip in the bud.  I'm doing everything well... except my diet!

So let me tell you what I'm tracking.

Weight
Bedtime (previous night)
Wake-up Time
Hours of Sleep

I have one night since Sunday where I only got a little over three hours of sleep.  Otherwise, I've slept A TON!  Not sure, but it's probably just recovering from our Relay weekend.  My weight hasn't changed a bit.  But neither has my diet, so no surprise there.

Morning Medications
Essential Oils
Morning Supplements
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner
Snacks
Water
Evening Meds/Oils/Supps

I'm doing pretty well with my medications, essential oils, and supplements.  (I'll go into detail on those in a future post.)  But for whatever reason, I just can't get back into the Nutrisystem diet again.  I have plenty of food.  And I even enjoyed it the first time.  I just need to do it!  That's my goal this weekend.  Nutrisystem or nothing!  I also haven't been drinking my water.  Those are really the only two areas that I'm struggling with... and those are two areas I really need to work on.

Bible: 10 Chapters/Day
Rosary
Chaplet of Divine Mercy
Blog: Psalm
Blog: 100 Days Challenge
Read "100 Days of Weight Loss" and complete Journal/Exercise
Identify three things that I'm grateful for
Read Affirmations
Post: #100HappyDays picture
Walk (steps)

The Bible reading plan that I'm currently following had me start in ten different books of the Bible, reading just one chapter a day.  It breaks down the bible into ten different sections, all of them differing lengths.  So I could possibly/will probably finish the different sections at different times.  No matter though.  Once you finish a section, you repeat it.  So the next time I'm reading Genesis, I'll likely be in a different Gospel.  At any rate, I've been reading Matthew, Genesis, Joshua, 1 Chronicles, Isaiah, Romans, 1 Thessalonians (and then 2 Thessalonians, and then 1 Timothy), Job, Acts, and Psalms.

I've also enjoyed saying a Rosary and a Chaplet every day.  Both are beautiful prayers.  I always thought they were time-consuming before.  But now, I'm truly enjoying that quiet time.

I don't intend to blog on this Challenge daily, but I will a couple/few times each week.  But I DO intend to read the "100 Days of Weight Loss" book and complete the associated Journal/Exercise portion, as well as reading my personal Affirmations and listing three things that I'm grateful for.

I haven't been posting my #100HappyDays pictures because my phone is out of commission.  But as soon as it's back (or I've replaced it), I'll be posting things that make me happy... every day... for 100 days.

As for steps, I haven't hit 10,000 since Relay.  I need to get back at that too.  Last week, I walked nearly 82,000 in one week.  But the Pacers were still playing and I did a Relay Field Day and a Relay for Life.  This week (only 4 1/2 days in), I'm only up to 20,247.  I don't expect to hit 82,000 every week, but I do want to average 10,000 every day.  So I need to regulate my steps... and my sleep.  Last week, my steps were up and my sleep hours were down.  This week, my steps are down and my sleep hours are up.  I need to find a happy medium.

I'm not expecting a whole lot of change tomorrow (Friday).  But I AM planning to make positive changes in my diet and water intake this weekend.  Next weekend should look much different.  AND I should see a shift in my weight.  And that would be a very good thing too!

100 Days Challenge - Day 3

I've been telling folks for a few weeks now that my summer will be filled with walking, reading, and sleeping.  I think those three things will help center me.  And boy do I feel like I need centered.

My depression seems to be out of hand.  My doctor agrees and is sending me to a specialist.  That appointment happens tomorrow.  Not really looking forward to it, but I'm sure it's for the best.

But in addition to my emotional stability, I really want to get a handle on my schedule, my weight-loss, my budget, and my sleep.  I've been struggling with, or out-right ignoring, some of those issues in my life.

This next 100 days (starting this past June 1st), I'm getting focused.  I bought a book titled "100 Days of Weight Loss" by Linda Spangle.  It comes with a Journal to help me stay on track.  I've also developed a checklist of those little things that I need to do to help my cause (taking my meds, drinking my water, getting enough steps in every day, etc.)  I also added a few things that I've wanted to incorporate into my every day, but I regularly find excuses to avoid them (reading my bible, saying a rosary, doing a chaplet).  And most of all, I want to stick to my Nutrisystem diet.  I was doing so well when I was sticking to it before.  Time to rededicate my efforts.

My reasons for doing the 100 Days Program:

1. lower my blood pressure
2. free myself from depression
3. be more active
4. sleep better
5. look and feel better
6. turn a man's head occasionally
7. impress my doctor
8. finally finish something I've started
9. be more comfortable in smaller spaces (planes, theaters)
10. buy cuter clothes

So, I'm on day 3.  I'm doing well with several aspects of my checklist.  But I've not embraced that Nutrisystem diet again... yet.  I will.  By the end of this week, I want to be checking off everything in my list of things to do.  Then the goal is to continue to do each of those things for 100 days.  And the book gives little life lessons all summed up in two pages.  I can do two pages... as well as the little exercise that goes with them.

Today, I did my rosary and my chaplet.  I also read ten chapters of my bible:  Matthew 8, Genesis 8, Joshua 8, 1 Chronicles 8, Isaiah 8, Romans 8, 2 Thessalonians 3, Job 8, Acts 8,and Psalms 8.  I'm using a 10 Chapters a Day plan.  Let me know if you want a copy.  I took my meds, supplements, and essential oils.  I did a blog entry on a Psalm (which I do every day).  And I'll read.  So far I only have 3000 steps in.  And I probably won't get a heck of a lot more.  I'm beat after not sleeping well.  And I had an emotional day.  My plan is to go home, take my seroquel, read, and get to bed super-early.  It sounds lovely!

FitBit Flex

My FitBit Flex arrived today!  I previously owned a FitBit Ultra.  But it no longer holds a charge and isn't supported so much by the company.  I liked the Ultra, but I'm just excited to have a FitBit again.  This one is a wrist device and is lime green.  The FitBit simply makes me aware of my movements and motivates me to do even more.

FitBit Flex color options

My FitBit Flex tracks:

• steps taken
• distance traveled
• calories burned
• very active minutes
• sleep time and quality
• Flex also features a silent wake alarm that gently vibrates at wake-up time.

I set my daily step goals (10,000 steps) and the Flex tells me when I've hit each 20% increments.  And when I reach 100% of my goal, the Flex vibrates and it's lights will illuminate.

The Flex is water resistant, so I can even wear it 24/7.  It syncs when it's within 20 ft of the dongle in my PC.  And if I had a newer phone, I could sync it that was as well.  I only have to charge the Flex once every five days, which is convenient for me.  The only reason I'll have to take it off my wrist is to charge it.

It's unlikely that I'll be walking 10,000 steps each day at first.  But if I get my workouts in, that should boost my step count.  Maybe once it's warmer I'll actually get out there and put feet to pavement to rack up my step numbers.

When you lose fat...

I found this on Facebook today. I like it!

Slacker

Man, I've really been slacking on keeping up with my blog lately.  It's been a full ten days since I posted anything.  I have a blog on the Nutrisystem site as well, that I have been posting to.  So I guess I've been getting my fix there and ignoring this one.  I'll try to redeem myself.

I had a doctor's appointment on Monday the 10th.  It was a follow-up concerning the change in meds for my depression.  I was looking forward to it because I haven't felt this good (depression-wise) in A VERY LONG TIME.  But instead of discussing how good I feel, we focused on how bad my test results were.  My sugar is slightly elevated.  My TSH (thyroid hormone) is even higher than three months ago.  My iron isn't going up anymore.  My blood pressure is too high.  And I need to lose more than 100 lbs.

I spent the entire day looking forward to discussing how GREAT I felt with my doctor.  Instead, I was completely dejected by the time I left.  [sigh]  He increased my Synthroid, increased my iron, and added an ACE inhibitor to my every day.  I'm supposed to take my BP three times a day and record it for him.  After a month, I'm supposed to let him know how things are going, so he can decide if he needs to make adjustments.

He also wants me to walk every day.  Nothing major until we can get my BP under control.  In fact, he only wants to see me lose 2-3 lbs per month.  Ugh!  I weigh so much I should be losing 1-2 lbs per week!  Hopefully I can make progress on all fronts that we're ALL happy.

I also had the Coaches vs Cancer game this week.  For whatever reason, I was really nervous about it.  I know I wasn't as prepared as previous years.  I know we didn't do t-shirts, so we won't have the profit from those sales.  But my stomach was tied in knots.  Ultimately, we finished the week with $800 in donations!  We were really happy with that!

Still, it was either the stress of putting that together, or maybe a bug, or possibly the increase in iron.  At any rate, I didn't eat for more than two days because my stomach just felt full and uncomfortable.  I just didn't feel well at all.  But I think it's finally passing.  I've been eating, just not as much.  And I hope to get back to 100% on my menu and workouts tomorrow.

We got more snow yesterday.  Again with the white-out conditions.  I think we got 2-3" total.  And I understand we could get another couple of inches tonight.  But by the end of the week, we're supposed to have 50 degree temps.  This has been a strange winter to me.  So windy and cold.  More snow than I remember in several years.  Looking forward to the warmth.

Until then, enjoying my three-day weekend! Happy Presidents' Day!

Add a Dash of Cardio

[sigh]  Okay, so I totally increased my workouts, but didn't do so well on my diet.  I think it's because I had such great success in the first week without much effort, that I thought I wouldn't be doing much damage when I cheated.  Lesson learned.

I was really pretty good Sunday through Wednesday.  All down hill from there though.  But tomorrow starts a new week and I'm excited to get back on the horse!

My meals this week included Red Beans & Rice, Pasta Fageoli, Cheddar Broccoli Rice, Three Cheese Chicken Pasta, and Mac & Cheese with Beef.  A big problem for me was that I was out of my office on Thursday.  I need to come up with a solution to that as I'm out of the office THREE DAYS this coming week.

On a positive note, I did three T25 workouts and two Les Mills Pump workouts.  I have decided that I'm SOOOO not going to worry about keeping up with the T25 schedule.  I'm simply not fit enough to do a few of those workouts.  But I AM going to do the first couple of workouts every day until I feel coordinated enough to add another one.  I'll continue with the LMP as it's scheduled.  Really feeling good about my workouts.

I also did well with my water early in the week, but drastically trailed off as the week went on.  I can't let that happen.  Between eating fewer calories and working plenty of muscles, I really need to be getting no less than 64 oz of water... and probably closer to 100.  So I'll work on getting that back on track this week.

I'd tell you how much I weigh, but I didn't even weigh myself today.  I knew it wouldn't be pretty.

After One Week

Well, I've made it through week one.  Was I perfect?  Not even close.  Did I still find success?  Why yes I did!

So I'll just tell you.  Last Saturday when I weighed myself, I weighed a whopping 254.6 lbs.  To the best of my knowledge, that's the most I've ever weighed.  But today, I weighed in at 248.2!  I lost 6.2 lbs in the last week!  I know it's probably all water weight since I drank a lot more water than I normally do.  But hey, the water weight needs to go too.  I'm still stoked about the significant start to my weight-loss goals.

I honestly enjoyed the Nutrisystem meals.  All but one, that is.

I have to admit, I didn't love the breakfasts.  I'm not much into sweets, especially first thing in the morning.  And the breakfasts, though not bad, are all too sweet for me.  I had four different kinds of muffins and three different kinds of breakfast bars this week.  In the future, the breakfast bars have to go.  But I can do the muffins.  I've been adding a boiled egg to breakfast every day.  I'll continue to do that.

I really enjoyed every lunch...except one.  I had spicy kung pao chicken, three cheese chicken, cheese tortellini, a loaded baked potato, and white bean chicken chili.  I loved them all... except the spicy kung pao chicken.  I had to force myself to finish that one.  But since there are so many lunch options, I don't have to worry about EVER eating that one again.  I added green beans, zucchini, or yellow squash to each of those meals.  I cheated today and had a Subway sandwich while doing my laundry at the laundromat...turkey on wheat with onion, green pepper, and tomato.  It was lovely!

I LOVED every one of my dinner options.  I had a thick crust pizza, lasagna with meat sauce, chicken Alfredo, Italian herb flat bread pizza, chicken pot pie, and rotini with meatballs.  I had broccoli or cauliflower with each of these meals.  I cheated one night and had food/snacks at our Relay for Life kick-off.  But I tried to eat relatively healthy with fruits, veggies, and cheese.

This week was the Nutrisystem Fast Five week.  I don't know if Nutrisystem does that with ALL first-time orders or if it's a deal they have going right now.  But the menu is a little more stringent.  And for my morning and afternoon snacks, I was supposed to do a chocolate shake.  The morning one increases energy; the one in the afternoon battles cravings.  Well, this is where I totally lost it.  I had both shakes on Sunday, the morning shake on Monday, the afternoon shake on Tuesday, and the morning shake again on Wednesday.  I am so freakin' OVER these diet shakes.  I didn't touch another one all week.  The supply they gave me should last until summer!  Instead, for my snacks, I had a Babybel cheddar cheese in the morning and a small green apple in the afternoon.

I also drank 64 oz of water every day...except today.  I need to be drinking more, especially once I start working out.  But this was a good start for me.  I have a travel mug that holds 16 oz of water.  I give myself two hours to finish it before I fill it again.  And I was able to keep up with that schedule this week with no problem.  I initially intended to flavor the water with my Slim & Sassy oil.  But I quickly got tired of that taste.  So I flavored it with MiO.  It's no-calorie and has several flavor options.  My favorite is orange tangerine!  I ended up putting my Slim & Sassy oil in a veggie cap and took it like a vitamin.  Every time I filled my water bottle, I took another Slim & Sassy capsule.

As for workouts, I didn't do the ones I'd intended to do.  I'm not sure why.  I was really excited to get everything started last Sunday.  But maybe this is better, to build up to 'everything'.  I got some walking in.  I did some dancing.  Setting up for Relay was a decent workout.  But tomorrow, I start Les Mills Pump.  Monday, I start T25.

Oh, I took "before" pictures too.  I was at work and took them in our huge wall mirror in the ladies room.  I'm wearing regular clothes instead of tight, short workout clothes where I show a lot of skin.  But I think it's clear that I'm obese.  My plan is to take a picture every month.  I also need to do my measurements.  Perhaps I'll do that first thing tomorrow.

Starting Sunday, January 19th

Earlier this week, I posted a picture stating that just because you haven't attacked your resolutions in January doesn't mean you've failed them.  I probably shouldn't use the word resolution.  Nevertheless, I've got all the tools at my disposal to move forward with my "Journey to a Better Me".  I want to lose weight and get healthier.  I want to sleep better and enjoy more peace and happiness.  I want to read and write more.  I want to do a better job keeping up with my budget and increasing my savings.  I want to actually finish writing a book, instead of regularly starting a new one.  I want to organize my home and my car and live in a less cluttered, stress-free environment.

But I know I can't change all of that at the same time.  But I can start focusing on each of these one at a time.  And hopefully by the end of the year, I'll be much more content with who I am.

I created a workout and menu plan that starts this Sunday.  My tools of choice are Nutrisystem, Focus T25, Les Mills Pump, doTerra Slim & Sassy essential oil, and plenty of water.  If I do what I can to stick to the schedule as much as possible, I expect positive results.  If I get brave, I may share pictures and weight/measurement progress as I go.

I tried the Nutrisystem plan a few years ago and lost weight with it.  I liked the food and learned a lot about portion control.  It was super-convenient to have the meals already made, just needed heated up.  And they were portable, making it easy to continue with the program at work or elsewhere.  I will add nuts, eggs, cheese, fruits, and vegetables to the prepackaged meals.  Otherwise, I want to avoid eating anything outside of this program.  My initial plan is to do these meals for at least three months, but preferably six months.  In addition to dropping weight, I should see changes in my cholesterol numbers as well.

I bought T25 a month or so ago.  I started doing it along with the modifier (the one person on the screen who does things a with a little less intensity than Shaun T) and realized I needed to modify the modifier.  It was so frustrating to realize how out of shape I am.  And I really let it get to me and quickly stopped pushing play on my T25 DVD.  To think, just 18 months ago, I did my second 5k in two months.  Unfortunately, I've done nothing physical since then.  Well, I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter if I can't keep up with Shaun T.  It doesn't even matter that I can't keep up with the modifier.  One day I will.  Until then, I'll go at my own pace...while I keep moving for 25 minutes straight six days a week.  My plan is to do this workout first thing every morning, Monday through Saturday.  It's a 10-week program.  If I keep doing it back to back, I could get through it five times in the next year.  Hopefully by the second go-around, I'll be able to keep up with the modifier...and by the third go-around, I'll be closer to keeping up with Shaun T.

I've actually finished the Les Mills Pump (LMP) schedule before.  I LOVE LMP!  It's a workout program on DVD, but it uses weights instead of being all about cardio.  It makes me feel strong and powerful.  I also see progress faster when I'm lifting weights.  Whereas T25 will get my heart rate up for 25+ minutes six days a week, LMP will help me build stronger muscles throughout my body 3-4 days a week.  I'll likely start with a light weight, 5 lbs on each end of the barbell.  But I'll build up as I go.  I intend to do this workout at the when I get home from work each day.  This program is 13 weeks long.  If I keep doing it back to back, I could get through it four times in the next year.

Are you at all familiar with essential oils?  From the doTerra website:

Essential oils are natural aromatic compounds found in the seeds, bark, stems, roots, flowers, and other parts of plants.  They can be both beautifully and powerfully fragrant.

In addition to their intrinsic benefits to plants and being beautifully fragrant to people, essential oils have been used throughout history in many cultures for their medicinal and therapeutic benefits.  Modern scientific study and trends toward more holistic approaches to wellness are driving a revival and new discover of essential oil health applications.

dōTERRA®'s Slim & Sassy® Metabolic Blend is a proprietary formula of CPTG Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade® essential oils designed to help manage appetite between meals.  Slim & Sassy includes a blend of grapefruit, lemon, peppermint, ginger, and cinnamon essential oils.  Just add 8 drops to 16 oz. of water (regular size bottle of water) and drink between your healthy meals throughout the day to help manage hunger, calm your stomach, and lift your mood.

And finally, I know it's well-accepted that in order to lose weight, you must be drinking plenty of water.  I always thought 8 glasses of water every day was a lot.  But I've since learned that the bigger you are, the more water you should be drinking.  In fact, you should really be drinking one ounce of water for every two pounds you weigh.  Since I weigh well over 200 lbs, I should be drinking nearly a gallon of water a day.  Now THAT'S a lot of water.  But hey, if I start losing weight, I can start reducing the amount of water I drink.  There's something to look forward to.  And honestly, water flavored with Slim & Sassy isn't too bad.

Focus T25

I know it sounds crazy, but I'm going to give it a shot.  I'm going to do T25.  And I'm starting today.  I haven't consistently worked out in over a year.  I come up with EVERY excuse in the book not to get a workout in.  I know this Focus T25 is an advanced workout.  But they have a 'modifier', someone who does an easier version of every move.  I think I can hang with her.  And if I hang with it long enough, perhaps eventually I'll be able to hang with the big guns.  At any rate, it's only 25 minutes per workout (one workout M-Th, two workouts F, stretch on Sunday).  I can do 25 minutes.  Heck, ANYONE can do 25 minutes!

Cardio AND Strength Training

So I told you the other day that I was back to doing my Rockin' Body series.  Well, I've also picked up the weights again.  One of my favorite workouts, Les Mills Pump.  Weights set to music.  I LOVE IT!

My plan is to do my Cardio workout in the AM and my Strength training in the PM.  So far, I've only done both in the PM.  But as the workouts get longer, that's going to become more and more difficult to make time for.  But I'll work on it...getting that AM workout in during the AM.  Perhaps during my long weekend!

Here's a look at Les Mills Pump...

Working Out Again

 
I said I'd get back to working out after Relay was over.  Well, Relay happened nearly a month ago.  So it's definitely time.

I did two Rockin' Body workouts.  That's where I started out my workouts last year when I decided to get serious.  So I decided to start there again.  40 minutes of dance.  Felt pretty good.

Tomorrow?  More dancing...and weights!

Oh!  And I'm only taking my measurements (including my weight!) once a month.  Once!

Seven Word Status

Gray covered.  Laundry done.  Run/walk accomplished!

Dark Brown (Natural), this time.

Happiness is clean laundry!

One day, I'll actually look like this when I run.

Rest Day

I ran/walked Monday.  46 minutes, 2+ miles, 420 calories burned.
I ran/walked Tuesday.  53 minutes, 3.37 miles, 454 calories burned.
I ran/walked Wednesday.  53 minutes, 3.1 miles, 475 calories burned.

(miles according to my Fitbit, calories according to my Polar4T heart rate monitor)

Today, my body is screaming!  So I plan to take the night off from working out.  I'll get back on the road tomorrow.