So my appointment with my psychiatrist didn't go great. I must first concede, she didn't get on my nerves nearly as much as she has in the past. Maybe I was too depressed to care. Maybe she was treating me with kid gloves because I was so obviously down. And I know it's her job to determine when I should be admitted. But discussing suicide with someone who is already depressed is not uplifting, needless to say. So I didn't even remotely enjoy the time spent with her. Nothing new there.
Before I left, I talked with my counselor, who seemed a little concerned with how I was doing. So he wants us to get together Wednesday. But I'm feeling MUCH, MUCH better, so that appointment will go well. Sometimes when I'm not feeling good, I don't look forward to my appointments with my counselor. Actually that's not true. ALL THE TIME when I'm not feeling well, I don't look forward to appointments with my counselor. So I'm no longer dreading this appointment. Bring it on! He'll remind me of things I should say to myself when I'm down. He'll teach me another trick or two to try to get my mind out of that bad head space. I expect it'll be productive and well-spent.
My appointment with the cardiologist went very well. He says that my heart is in GREAT shape. Yea, me! He also asked me if I was working out. I told him that my primary care provider had me scared to death to raise my heart rate any higher and suggested that I walk without breaking a sweat. The cardiologist told me to start working out 30 minutes a day. So I need to do that. (This eating 350 calories right before bed to accommodate the Latuda is quickly making me gain weight.)
He was well aware that I was depressed yesterday. I told him that my psychiatrist has been mucking with my anti-depressants in an effort to get my heart rate to drop. He wanted to make sure I knew that he never suggested to anyone that my anti-depressants were the culprit. I assured him that my primary care provider championed that cause and my psychiatrist was more than happy to jump on board. To help quell the continued science experiment, he suggested that I take a calcium blocker to lower both my heart rate and blood pressure. I started taking that last night. I'll follow-up with his nurse practitioner in a month to see if that works.
In the interim, I need to call my primary care provider to see if he wants me to stop taking the pill he put me on a year ago, to help lower my blood pressure. There's really no need at this point for me to be taking two. So I need to make that call.
Work has been busier lately. But depression or not, I've been able to keep up. Praise the Lord!
No day is better in my world than the day after a depression passes. "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
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