I'm Baaaack! Miss me? I sure did!

I have been in a fog for days. Sometime yesterday afternoon, that fog started to lift. Today, I feel great! Thank God!

A fog, feeling blue, being down, DDays...all words for my depression. Yeah, I fight depression...BAD. Actually, that's probably not true. It seems bad to me. But I'm sure it's all relative. I'm also sure it could be much, much worse. I'm thankful that it isn't. I take medication every day to maintain some semblance of emotional "even keel". But I still have a few days every month when my depression kicks the crap out of my Zoloft.

The best way I can describe my depression is this... When I feel good, it's impossible to imagine feeling as bad as I sometimes do. I try describing it to others, but it all seems so trivial, even silly, like I'm exaggerating a bad day. On the other hand, when I feel depressed, it's impossible to imagine feeling good. I try to do things that normally make me happy, eat my favorite foods, watch my favorite movies, etc. But no, nothing...NOTHING lightens my mood.

So, I just keep reminding myself that it's only temporary, that it'll go away soon. Soon...another relative term. I avoid people because I'm just mean. I simply do not care what others think of me when I'm blue, so I'm liable to say anything just to repel them. I avoid driving because I don't want to be responsible for what I might do. A vehicle can be a 'weapon of mass destruction' in the wrong hands. And when I'm depressed, I think I qualify as the wrong hands.

But it always goes away. Thank God! It always passes. It's just a matter of time. It's impossible to know how MUCH time. That in itself can make a person crazy. But I do what I can to distract myself with busy work and remind myself that it'll be over soon.

And right now, I'm good. Good for another few weeks! Yep, I'm back. I've thanked God enough for all of us.