Another Sad Day

“In all their suffering, He also suffered, and He personally rescued them. In His love and mercy, He redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years.” Isaiah 63:9

One of my co-workers committed suicide this past weekend. When I was initially informed, I simply could not believe it. I still don’t want to believe it. Apparently he was really depressed lately and drinking heavily because of that. I loved Earle and I didn’t know about either one of those things. Why didn’t I know?

I fight depression and I know how bad things appear when a person is depressed. Actually, that’s probably not true. I just know how *I* feel when I’m depressed. But I guess I can understand a depressed person not seeing any other way out and thinking that death is the only way to find peace. But it never crossed my mind that Earle could ever reach that point. He just seemed so much stronger than that to me.

I don’t know what to do with a suicide. I am so sad at the loss of my friend. I’m still shocked that he took his own life. I’m even a bit angry that he chose such a selfish solution. And I'm frustrated that there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it now. But in time, I’ll get over all of those feelings. It’s his salvation that I worry about most.

What really happens to the souls of those that commit suicide? I just keep reminding myself that we have a loving and merciful God. And who would know Earle’s heart more than God?

Being Catholic, I was always taught that no one is good enough, pure enough, worthy enough to get to heaven from this earthly world. We would all spend time in Purgatory, atoning for our sins and learning what it truly means to praise and worship God. So, when I think of someone who has committed suicide, I pray that they are in Purgatory…sitting on a bench with Jesus. There Jesus reveals to them everyone who has said their name in sorrow or cried a tear, wondering how they could possibly take their own life. And then I imagine Jesus saying to them, “You sit right here and watch over these people who love you, who will miss you. And you pray for them until the last tear is shed and they all find peace. Then we’ll talk, you and Me.”

I don’t know that any of that is true. It’s just the best way I know how to reconcile it in my head

From the Catholic Catechism:

Suicide

2280: Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of.

2281: Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God.

2282: If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law.

Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.

2283: We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.

“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; He rescues those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

The following was written by my friend. He was supposed to read it at a Memorial Day service yesterday. Since he took his own life Sunday, this was never presented, to the best of my knowledge. So I'm publishing his last words here.

Memorial Day 2008 – Earle Wolfe JR, VFW Post 3321 Judge Advocate

I anticipate that some of the statements that I plan on making today, might not set well with part of the audience, but I sincerely hope that by the time I am done talking, the folks that might not agree with what I have to say at least come away with a broadened perspective. We all know that Memorial Day is about honoring our lost or fallen friends, family, and comrades. Of these, I would like to talk about the ones that I hold the dearest to me – the American Veteran. I would also like to bring mention to the country that these men and women have fought and died for.

I am not here in attempts of convincing anyone that veterans are Gods, the sons of God, or anything of a religious nature, but I am going to try to point out a few similarities between the mission that our American Veterans have been given, and the mission Jesus Christ was given. There are a lot more similarities than one might think.

According to the things that I have been taught about the bible, God put his only son, Jesus Christ on this earth with the mission of living among us, teaching us, and ultimately to die for each and every one of us so that we would not perish, but have eternal life. Just for clarification - this not saying that life, as we know it now will last forever; eternal life refers to the life that comes after the one we are living now. I think that is a pretty widely accepted belief in most forms of Christianity. Did Jesus know what was ahead of him as a baby, or as a small child? I personally don’t know if he did or not, but I was taught that by the time he was an adult, he knowingly willingly and unselfishly gave his own life in order to secure a very good place for us to live. Most people call that place Heaven. Of us that do make it there, we will be subjects to a kind and merciful ruler most people simply call God. What if Jesus wasn’t willing to give his life for us? What is the alternative to eternal life? I was taught that the alternative is eternal damnation - living in a horrible place that is full of pain, suffering, being subjected to inconceivable atrocities, and we would be forced to bow down to an evil ruler most people call Satan. Because of the sacrifice Jesus made for us, he is often referred to as “our Savior”, and I was taught that his mission was a success, even if it did cost him his life here on Earth.

Do young boys and girls know at an early age if they were born with the destiny of being a soldier, sailor, or airman? Probably not, but many of them do mature into brave warriors that are willing to fight for the ideals and the people of this great nation. Why do they choose to join the armed services? There are a lot of good reasons - educational benefits, travel opportunities, and experience that they might hope to use later in life are some of the more popular reasons IF these young folks are looking at what the nation can do for them. Some of these young folks might simply want to return the favor to the aging veterans that once did the same for them. That is called having a sense of duty. There are some people that served, that didn’t actually want to fight in wars, or were drafted… All the same, when these people were called upon, they didn’t run or hide - they proudly answered their call to duty.

Before answering the call, they took an oath to defend this country, and it’s ideals with their very lives. It doesn’t matter what branch of the service they were in, or what their specific job was when they were in the service – the oath was the same, and the mission was ultimately the same. When they signed the dotted line to enlist, and raised their right hand as they were sworn in, they swore with their very lives (not in so many words) to be our saviors in this short life that we know now. It really doesn’t matter if all of them actually saw combat or not - by taking the oath of our Armed Services, they acknowledged that loosing their life for their country was a real possibility, and by continuing, they made the statement that they were willing to make that sacrifice if that is what it took.

How many troops do you think knew on December 6th, 1941 that the Japanese were going to bomb Pearl Harbor the following day? September 11th 2001 came as a surprise to most of us to. I doubt that hardly anyone in this country knew what was coming on these or other occasions, but there were troops signed up, and trained for such possibilities.

Unfortunately most of our soldiers, sailors, and airmen - especially those outside of the Chaplain Corps, don’t have much if any control over the life after this one. They do however have some influence over this life. Their mission is to secure a very good place for us here and now in the United States of America – the greatest Nation on Earth. They unselfishly put their life on the line to make sure that we can continue to live under the ideals of what we call the Constitution of the United States - under a President, House, Senate, and local officials that we the people have the power to change any time they don’t lead in the way we want them to. Is the United States Heaven? I wouldn’t go as far to say that it is, but being a former sailor in the United States Navy, I have seen the vast majority of the world, and this place truly is as good as it gets. I haven’t been out of the Navy long enough to forget how good it felt to come home to this country, and I hope that I never do forget that incredible feeling.

Are our leaders always kind, merciful, and just? Maybe not, but you and I do have the right to vote. It is a shame that more people don’t exercise that right. We have even swifter tools at our disposal if and when they are needed – Presidents have been impeached, Senators and Congressmen have been forced out of office, and local officials have been removed in the past, and will surely be in the future. This is proof that the system does work, and it is why the constitution starts off with the words “We the people”. I realize that our government is not perfect, and that it doesn’t always move as dynamically as we would like for it to, but keep in mind the next time you start thinking about how wrong something is within the government, that you and I collectively make up “We the people”, and only WE can change things.

Throughout the history of this nation, our Armed Services have fought to preserve the way of life that we have come to enjoy, and some even take for granted. They have protected us so we could keep the things that we have worked hard for, to prevent us from being subjected from unthinkable atrocities, and to keep us from being taken over by rulers that have been called evil, and even been compared to Satan by people far more educated than I am. What specifically have we been saved from? Have we forgotten about Hitler? What about Saddam Hussein? While these and some of the other leaders we have stood against were not actually Satan, these leaders tortured, experimented on, and even killed their own people. If this were the way I had to live out the rest of my life, I would think that it would seem like Hell on earth. Don’t you?

I am thankful for all of the American veterans that fought for this country before I was old enough to, so that I could grow up in the land of the free, under a reasonable leader. I am proud that I was able to return this favor by serving in the Armed Forces to protect all that have fought before me and for those that have yet to serve their country, so they could enjoy the same quality of life than I have enjoyed.

I sincerely hope that you are able to accept the comparison that I made earlier as rational. Our Service Men and Women may not be able to give us eternal life, but they most certainly have saved us repeatedly in this life, and some are deployed right now doing so. Please remember our fallen comrades today, the prisoners of war, and the missing in action. If you really want to honor these souls, stand up for the things they fought for, and support your local Veterans Organizations like the American Legion and the VFW.

Thank you.