Dreams

I know I dream. And I know I dream in color. I sometimes remember colors vividly from my dreams. Or the colors relate to my real world. In one dream, I remember thinking (in my dream), “that’s the same color of purple on my bedroom wall.” I honestly don’t ever remember waking up thinking about a dream I had in black and white. Maybe I do dream in black and white at times, but I don’t remember ever remembering that aspect of those dreams.

Regularly, I remember my dreams with great detail. The amount of detail amazes people. Sometimes it even amazes me. But I love that. In fact, if I go too many days without remembering my dreams, I miss them. They’re like old friends to me. I wish I knew what made me remember them or not. I’d do whatever I could to control my ability to remember them more often. I truly enjoy the mini-motion pictures that my mind creates while I sleep…even if I don’t understand their meaning.

Then sometimes, like today and a couple of days last week, I don’t remember my dreams, but flashes of them streak through my mind throughout the day while I’m doing other things. There I am, sitting at my desk minding my own business, literally working on a task directly related to my job, listening to music on my headphones…when all of a sudden, I have a thought that I don’t remember generating on my own. When I stop to try to analyze it or connect it to other thoughts or even try to figure out where it came from, I’m at a total loss.

The first couple of times I found myself in this place, I let it go. But after it occurs several times a day, it becomes quite frustrating. It’s as if I’m being haunted by pieces/parts, fractals of my own dreams.

Then I wonder if those incomplete pieces of my thoughts are trying to tell me something. So, I find myself trying to focus even more on the blurred, rushed, nonsensical pictures in my mind. My eyes are closed. I take deep, cleansing breaths to relax my mind and body. And I just listen in an attempt to recreate the actions just prior to or just subsequent to the one tiny piece of ‘dream’ that I can’t even see clearly. It becomes almost an obsession.

Then sometimes I wonder if maybe the reason I can’t piece it all together is because they’re not my thoughts at all. I wonder if I’m hearing the thoughts of those around me. OR am I seeing a vision or a premonition…something NOT generated in my mind at all, but something from the universe around me. I wonder. I often wonder…

I wonder what it is, what it means. And I wonder if I’ll ever unlock the door to where it comes from.

But my current theory is that it’s all in my head. : ) If I simply spend a little more time each morning annotating my dreams, I honestly believe that I’ll have fewer of these stray, haunting pieces of random thoughts distracting my day. Because I assure you, they aren’t nearly as enjoyable as remembering and reliving my dreams.