Why I Don't Date

In a nutshell? Men make me nervous.

This evening I stopped by the local grocery store. I had several things I needed to purchase. But instead, I walked out of the place with only a handful of them. Why? Because of a man. Strange as it sounds, it's true.

I was walking towards the produce section. I wanted pears; I love pears. Anyway, I was following a man, only in that he was already going in that direction. He looked over his shoulder at me a couple of times. Then he stopped so that I'd have to walk around him. And I did. In that instant, he asked me if I was from the area. I immediately thought about all the times my mother taught me not to talk to strangers AND all the times I taught my son the same thing. But I didn't want to be rude. So, as I kept walking...quickly...I said yes.

Then he asked me where I worked. I did not stop walking as I asked, "Why?" It should have been obvious by the look on my face that I was a little uncomfortable. He said he was just curious. So I told him that I worked at Crane. THEN I immediately thought about all the stories I've heard about intelligence operatives getting information out of people who work on government installations. This conversation with this stranger was making me nervous...and it was about to get even weirder.

He then asked me what I do. I never stopped walking, but told him that I did computer geeky kinds of things. That's usually enough to keep people from wanting to go into it further. People who do computers, talk computers; other people think we speak a completely different language.

So, I head over to the pears and quickly grab a couple without even adequately inspecting them as I normally would. This strange man asked me if I liked cucumbers. I told him that I did sometimes. He proceeded to give me his favorite cucumber recipe. Three medium-sized cucumbers, one small onion, 1/2 cup of Italian dressing, and sugar. Mix them all together and you have a wonderfully different sort of salad that's really good if you like cucumbers. I assure you, I'll have to take his word for it because I NEVER intend to make it!

I totally thought this man was just passing through our little town, but he said hello to another man in the store that I didn't know. So, I'm guessing he's a local. Nevertheless, I was so glad that he saw something shiny and was momentarily distracted. At the same instant, my friend Karen walked by. She was working; she stocks the beer shelves. I walked along side her and started up a conversation in order to make a clean getaway from 'the guy'.

Ultimately, I told her about the guy. She completely misunderstood and thought I was interested in him. She even offered to get some information out of him. He was making his way toward us and I only had a few seconds to convey to her that the opposite was true, that he totally freaked me out and that I was in no way interested in learning any more than I already knew. I think she got the hint and I high-tailed it out of there.

I was so focused on getting the heck out of there that I didn't even purchase the things that I went in there to buy. But I have two pears!

So, here's the deal, this man was in no way threatening. He didn't touch me or invade my space really. But he didn't introduce himself and asked a lot of questions. But I could NOT get away from him fast enough.

So obviously, I could never be wooed by a stranger because the whole idea just freaks me out a little. I constantly find myself wondering what they really want from me. And I don't date men I work with because I think that's just bad business. And since I spend more time with them than anyone else in my world, those are the people that I know the most. So, I'm not interested in men I don't know or men I know really well. I don't as a general rule date men that are younger than me. My excuse is that I assume they still want children and I'm too afraid to see if I'd fail at that again. I think I'd date men older than me, but I went out with a man that was significantly older than me and didn't have any interest in pursuing that. So, no dating anyone that is closer to being a peer to my father than me.

That narrows it down, doesn't it? But I also have other requirements. I would only date a Christian man. He can't be jealous or possessive. He must appreciate his mother and women in general. He can't smoke or do drugs. And he has to be able to talk. I talk a lot and any man I date is going to have to keep up his end of the conversation. I'd appreciate it if he was intelligent and witty too. I like to laugh and I like to think. Don't make me do it alone. : )

But the fact is, I don't mind being single. I don't miss dating. I honestly don't care at this point in my life if I have a boyfriend or not. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I never feel like I'm alone; I am on my own. Perhaps that's why I do what I can to repel any man that gets closer than I want him to.

Who knows? All I know is this strange man freaked me out. And now I have to go back to the grocery store again tomorrow!