I know we all have regrets. Some are big: I wish I hadn't gotten behind the wheel after drinking so much. Some are little: I wish I wouldn't have eaten that piece of chocolate cake. Some are valid: I wish I would have finished my degree. And some aren't so much: I wish I would have mowed last night so I didn't have to tonight. Regrets come in all shapes and sizes. My biggest regret is the man I chose to start a family with.
I divorced him 17 1/2 years ago. Even though we shared a son, I didn't want to be married to him any longer. There were times when I regretted not trying harder to keep my marriage together. But in the last year or so, my decision has been affirmed in several different ways.
The last time Jeff saw his dad was high school graduation, nearly a year ago. Mike (the dad) promised to get Jeff a television for his college dorm room. That never happened. In addition, Mike never even saw the college campus, never once made an attempt to visit Jeff there.
The last time Jeff heard his dad's voice was last October. Mike called to ask Jeff if he wanted to go see a UK football game. Jeff thought that he was going to go to the game WITH his dad. But his dad said that he had to work and THAT'S why he was giving the tickets to Jeff. And although he only lived 1 1/2 hours away from Jeff, he chose to FedEx them instead of dropping them by.
The last time Jeff heard from his dad via text, email, or message through Spencer (Jeff's step-brother) was in early February. Mike was finally going to stop by IUS to see Jeff and his home, meet his friends, take him out to lunch, exchange Christmas presents (six weeks late) and Birthday presents (two weeks late). Jeff had been looking forward to it all week. Instead, he gets a text message from his step-brother saying that Mike was going on a date night with his wife (Spencer's mom). So, he hadn't seen Jeff in 8 1/2 months and he'd last seen his wife just a few short hours before. Yet he found it necessary to cancel on Jeff AGAIN in order to go out with his wife. Jeff never got his Christmas presents or his birthday presents and hasn't heard from his dad since then.
This week, Jeff got the opportunity to move back to the area where his dad lives. He'll be living in an apartment with one of his friends there. Jeff called his dad to let him know that he was moving to the area and maybe they could hook up. Jeff called his dad's cell...no answer. He called the house...no answer. He called his dad's work and found out that his dad was off. So, Jeff texted Spencer to find out where his dad was, only to find out that he was home sitting on the couch in the living room watching television. So, Jeff asked Spencer why he wasn't picking up the phone. Spencer said, "Dad told me not to pick up the phone. He wants you to send him an email and he'll get back to you later."
Un-freakin'-believable!
Needless to say, Jeff didn't send that email...and probably never will.
I also kind of regret not getting married years ago and replacing Mike with a much better model. It would be interesting to see how much different Jeff's life would be with a REAL male role model.
I divorced him 17 1/2 years ago. Even though we shared a son, I didn't want to be married to him any longer. There were times when I regretted not trying harder to keep my marriage together. But in the last year or so, my decision has been affirmed in several different ways.
The last time Jeff saw his dad was high school graduation, nearly a year ago. Mike (the dad) promised to get Jeff a television for his college dorm room. That never happened. In addition, Mike never even saw the college campus, never once made an attempt to visit Jeff there.
The last time Jeff heard his dad's voice was last October. Mike called to ask Jeff if he wanted to go see a UK football game. Jeff thought that he was going to go to the game WITH his dad. But his dad said that he had to work and THAT'S why he was giving the tickets to Jeff. And although he only lived 1 1/2 hours away from Jeff, he chose to FedEx them instead of dropping them by.
The last time Jeff heard from his dad via text, email, or message through Spencer (Jeff's step-brother) was in early February. Mike was finally going to stop by IUS to see Jeff and his home, meet his friends, take him out to lunch, exchange Christmas presents (six weeks late) and Birthday presents (two weeks late). Jeff had been looking forward to it all week. Instead, he gets a text message from his step-brother saying that Mike was going on a date night with his wife (Spencer's mom). So, he hadn't seen Jeff in 8 1/2 months and he'd last seen his wife just a few short hours before. Yet he found it necessary to cancel on Jeff AGAIN in order to go out with his wife. Jeff never got his Christmas presents or his birthday presents and hasn't heard from his dad since then.
This week, Jeff got the opportunity to move back to the area where his dad lives. He'll be living in an apartment with one of his friends there. Jeff called his dad to let him know that he was moving to the area and maybe they could hook up. Jeff called his dad's cell...no answer. He called the house...no answer. He called his dad's work and found out that his dad was off. So, Jeff texted Spencer to find out where his dad was, only to find out that he was home sitting on the couch in the living room watching television. So, Jeff asked Spencer why he wasn't picking up the phone. Spencer said, "Dad told me not to pick up the phone. He wants you to send him an email and he'll get back to you later."
Un-freakin'-believable!
Needless to say, Jeff didn't send that email...and probably never will.
I also kind of regret not getting married years ago and replacing Mike with a much better model. It would be interesting to see how much different Jeff's life would be with a REAL male role model.
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