Downward Spiral

Downward Spiral - a string of bad decisions that tend to get progressively more serious. And unfortunately, much like going down any long slide, it's difficult to stop or even slow down, once you jump on this ride.

Someone very close to me appears to be on this downward spiral. And I'm not sure how to get him off of it. I'm sure it needs to be his idea in order for his dismount to be successful. But most of the time, I'm not even sure he realizes he's on this ride. As ridiculous as it sounds, sometimes I think he enjoys the danger and uncertainty of the ride. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that he doesn't have the ability to see all that far into the future. He seems completely oblivious to the ramifications of his decisions.

I'm sure no one ends up on a downward spiral on purpose..."I think I'll slowly waste my life." It's more likely that they realize it only once it's too late..."How the heck did I get myself into this mess?!" But still, once you realize you're on a downward spiral, shouldn't the goal be to get off as soon as possible?

The Signs of a Downward Spiral

All-the-Time-in-the-World
They think they have all the time in the world to fix the problem. They simply don't know that the older we get, the harder it is to recover from our issues. And worse, after years of bad decisions, obstacles are compounded. For example, being in debt by $100,000 versus $1,000.

Overconfidence
They think they can quit any time they want to...so they intend to enjoy this vice today. "I'll quit when I'm ready," is their mantra.

Denial
They refuse to see as fact, that which seems obvious to everyone around them. They think they have no problem and the rest of us are over-reacting.

Lack of a Foundation
They have no moral compass as a guide to tell them what's good and what's bad.

Tolerance Factor
Over time, a person needs an increasing amount of their vice (drugs, alcohol, etc.) in order to achieve the same high.

Unsuccessful Attempts to Stop a Bad Habit
They now feel hopelessness and feelings of failure. They even question if they're worth the effort.

Emotions are Stronger than Reason
Emotions tend to have the final say for many of us, but especially so for those considered out of control.

"I Don't Care Anymore."
When a person no longer cares about themselves or their future, it is very difficult to 'bring them back.' In fact, this is oftentimes the beginning of the end.

The Road to Recovery

1. Recovery begins by realizing and admitting that there's a problem.


2. Find and define your core values...what is right vs. what is wrong. If you don't consider the habit to be bad, you won't be able to convince yourself to stop doing it.


3. Accept, understand, and release all negative feelings. They will continue to pull you to the dark side if you don't bring them out into the open.


4. Make amends with everyone (including yourself) in order to release hostilities.


5. Commit to CHOOSING GOOD over bad.


6. Continually evaluate and correct your actions in order to stay on track. Having an accountability partner is helpful.


7. Never consider yourself 100% healed. This will be a life-style change, not a miracle. But consider yourself in control of your own decisions.