Mostly Sunny Skies

I've been good lately.  Mostly good.  But yesterday was a different story.  I wasn't depressed by any means.  But I was definitely weepy.  I don't like weepy.  Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be weepy than depressed any day.  But I didn't fully appreciate being all that weepy.  I cried probably five times yesterday.

When I'm weepy, I cry for no reason at all.  Or I cry for every reason I can think of.  I cried when Serena lost her tennis match.  This affects me in no way at all, but I was so sad for her.  Ugh!  When I'm weepy, I find every excuse to cry.

Lucky for me, today no tears.  I feel great!  I.FEEL.GREAT!  Thank You, Lord!

I have to admit, every day I am acutely aware of how I feel.  I analyze my feelings and reactions each and every day without fail.  Oftentimes before the sun even comes up.  It's probably not healthy.  But I don't think I could stop doing it even if I wanted to.  ...and sometimes I want to.  So when I say I've been depression free, I assure you, that statement has been fully vetted.

I often wonder if I'll ever graduate from this stage.  I wonder if a day will ever go by without me analyzing how I feel about things.  Today, I can't imagine what that would even look like.  But my counselor would probably tell me that I'll get there one day.  I can wait.  As long as I'm depression free between now and then, I can be patient.

And I can happily live with how things have been these last few months, mostly sunny skies.  Praise the Lord for answered prayers!