Alliteration

I know this makes me a glutton for punishment. But I haven't taken my anti-depressant since Friday morning. Being Relay weekend, it was physically demanding, sleep-deprived, and somewhat stressful (alliteration). There is NO EXCUSE for me to NOT take my meds. I know better.

Today, it has made me flat and introspective. I could have NO ONE in my world today and I'd be okay with it. In fact... I think I'd prefer it. Instead, I've pasted on a smile for the two conversations I had with co-workers and agreed to do lunch at the cafeteria with my cousin (alliteration). Hopefully he does most of the talking and I'll just chew and nod.

Lucky for me, I have a couple of tasks to tackle today (alliteration) that have kept me busy and focused. I've come to the conclusion that I think I work better in this mood. I also think it's conducive to writing. But I'm pretty sure my writing wouldn't be nearly as productive as work today. So, I'll continue to do what I'm being paid to do.

As I write this, I tell myself that I should stop and take my meds right now. Right.this.very.minute, while I'm thinking about it. [sigh] But it would ruin what I'm feeling right now. Even though it would raise my serotonin levels and put me on a more even-keel, better prepared to deal with tomorrow and the day after that, I'd miss..."this".

Sometimes... I like being "here". If you've never been "here", you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. If you have, you probably think I'm crazy for wanting a few more hours of it. Or maybe you don't. Perhaps you've been "here" too and wanted it just as much as I do, and completely understand my need to stay right "here" for a little while longer. Somewhere between anti-social and apathetic (alliteration).

I'll take my meds later.