Thursday, April 22, 2010

I Pray

Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff...

Well, let's see. Where to start...

He has officially dropped out of school. He got zero credits first semester. I couldn't tell you the last time he attended a class this semester. He was busted for drinking twice in less than five months. He lost two jobs inside of four months. He's a smoker, is obviously drinking, and even admitted to trying drugs. He was pretty much sponging off his girlfriend because he couldn't support himself...and I was tired of enabling/funding his lifestyle.

He abandoned his college dorm... and probably everything in it... to move more than 150 miles northwest (from New Albany to Terre Haute). I have no idea where he's living or if he even has a roof over his head. I don't even know if he's eating.

But I can't give in. I can't keep pulling him from the fire. If he doesn't learn to do it himself, he'll forever struggle in this world. Tough love is...well, tough. I thought it was supposed to be hard on the receiver. But I can attest, it is just as difficult for the giver.

Proverbs 19:18

Discipline your son, for in that there is HOPE; do not be a willing party to his death.

I just keep reminding myself that God has a plan for Jeff. God loves the Boy so much more than I ever could. And He'll take care of him. I have faith. I just have to believe that one day, Jeff will see the light again, come up for air, and allow himself to be loved.

Matthew 18:12-14
“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.”

Until then, I pray. I pray for patience and wisdom. I pray that I stop beating myself up for Jeff's decisions. I pray for thick skin on the rare occasions that I do hear from Jeff, that I don't let his sometimes venomous words tear out my heart. And mostly, I pray that he finds happy. I so want him to be happy.
My favorite saying is, "Worrying is an insult to God." So, I'm working at NOT worrying. Today, I found this...

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I love it when God speaks to me...and I hear Him.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

My Thursday -- My Week

I worked a long day today. But it was productive and successful. And that's always a good thing. Even though I've had a rough time emotionally the last few months, work has given me something to feel good about at the end of the day. I know I haven't been the easiest person to be around lately. But I'm very thankful to my co-workers for putting up with me!

I also texted with The Boy this morning. [sigh] It's no secret; I question his ability to make an intelligent decision. I worry about him with my whole heart...regularly...almost constantly. I don't want to go into a whole lot of detail. But I'll say this...he had another court date on Monday and isn't in jail. That's a good thing, right?

Suffice it to say, I consider these short bursts of communication to be our life-line right now. Hopefully they mean as much to him as they do to me.

Have you ever felt the need to raise the white flag? Throw in the towel? Cry, "Uncle" your really loud voice? I had to do just that yesterday. Thank God for backup and restore practices. It all started in November. I created the framework of a report that I run weekly. Unfortunately, the numbers on one line of my report were inflated...and have been with every iteration of the report since. Well Friday afternoon, I fixed it! ...or so I thought.

Much of Monday, Tuesday, AND Wednesday, I worked at fixing my 'fix'. Ugh! So frustrating! With everything I tried, I was making the problem worse instead of better, until I got to the point where I no longer had any confidence in the data.

So, I called our IT support and requested the database be restored back to Friday morning...BEFORE my 'fix'. And voila, within the hour, a HUGE weight was lifted from my shoulders.

So, the flaw with that one line of data is still there. But it isn't nearly as much of a nuisance as it was a week ago. Ahhh, perspective.

And now it's my weekend.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Good Friday

I found this in the great expanse of the internet. Thought you might find it interesting. I posted something like this last year. But I just can't get it into my thick head, so I thought others might need a reminder as well.

We're all familiar with the acronym T.G.I.F., but there's only one Friday on the calendar that's earned the distinction of being called "Good Friday."

Judging by the name alone, most of us might deduce that Good Friday is a holiday that's both good, as opposed to bad, and is observed on a Friday. However, if you weren't raised in a particularly religious household, you may not be familiar with exactly what it is about that particular Friday that makes it such a "good" one compared with other Fridays.

From a religious perspective, though, the term "Good Friday" is a bit of a misnomer since it refers to the day on which Jesus Christ was crucified. As you might expect, it was a particularly bad day for Jesus' disciples and followers (Judas, I'm looking in your direction) and it's a rather penitent day for Christians today.

Theologically speaking, you could make the argument that Good Friday was necessary in order for Jesus to absolve mankind of its sins, but still the name Good Friday seems like a stretch. Couldn't it just as easily be called Sad Friday? Or Bad Friday? Or
[my personal favorite] The Worst Friday Ever?

For clarification, I've turned to the Historty's chief historian, Dr. Libby O'Connell. According to Dr O'Connell, the term "good" in this case is simply "a mistranslation of the word 'holy.' Holy, of course, meaning sacred and sanctified, is translated from the Latin word Sanctus."

Generally speaking, the English translation falls a little short when recognizing the holiness of the occasion. "Easter," explains Dr O'Connell, "is the culmination of the Christian year, not Christmas. Good Friday is one of the most important days of religious reflection."

In most languages, the holiday we refer to as Good Friday is translated as "Holy Friday," which captures the spirit of the holiday a little more accurately.

Posted by Josh Loposer.

Have a Happy Easter!!