Sunday, November 30, 2008
This subject came up in conversation at Friday's 89ers dinner. I've had blogs under this userid since 2005. Scripted Notions is actually the longest lasting of my blogs. I also maintain (well, kind of maintain) a couple more... one for Inspirational Emails that I receive and one for my Dreams. But I still have one that was the start of a book about four women commuting to work. But I haven't posted to that one in nearly two years. It's written under this userid as well; it's just not visible. It's not a secret. I just figure that since I'm not updating it, it makes sense not to display it.
But I have a completely separate blog. I log in with a different userid. I don't even have the same name on that one. I'm completely anonymous...or so I like to tell myself. That's where I REALLY vent about my world. I hold nothing back on that one. If I have a crush on someone who might actually read this blog, you won't see it here. But you could definitely read about it there. How I REALLY feel about work and some of the people there? Yep, that's there too. Some of my REAL fears and screw-ups? Uh-huh, it's in there.
Uhhhh, no, I am not going to tell you how you can find that one. It's public, so you could find it, if you really wanted to. I'm just not going to give you any hints to get there.
I've only had the new one for about a month. I guess I figured I needed another outlet to vent. Mostly because of the whole work situation.
I actually write out my journal entry on a piece of scrap paper that I carry around with me all day. It's really the back side of something I printed out, that I no longer need anymore. It's kind of my way of trying to be green. So, it's not really a 'piece' of scrap paper. It's an actual 8 1/2 X 11 sheet of paper with 'something' on the back side. I start out writing just like I'd write on a piece of notebook paper, relatively straight lines going from left to right, fairly neat handwriting in a small font. By the time I'm done, my lines are no longer straight and my writing is usually bigger and much sloppier. Eventually (usually when I get home, but not always), I type it in and mail it to my other blog. I don't edit it at all before publishing it. It's pretty much raw emotion, the way I was feeling when I wrote it out.
Not everything in my other blog is negative. Though Monday through Friday, it tends to lean that way. Much like this one, it's honest. But unlike this one, it's unedited. That's the difference. I promise, all of the really big things, you can read about them here.
And if you happen to find the other blog, don't tell anyone. ; )
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Attention: Nancy Albertson, NAVFACMW, Crane, Bldg. 2516, 300 Highway 361, Crane, Ind., 47522-5001. You can also e-mail your comments to: email@example.com They would like for your comments to be in writing but if you have questions or want to comment verbally you can call Nancy Albertson at (812) 854-6162.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I remember that I was at a house. Not my house. Not a house that I'm familiar with. And my parents came to visit. Or maybe they were already there and I came to visit. It's not important. But I remember talking to my mom about this guy. She asked me if I'd heard the news. I'm like, what news. Then she told me that this guy was going to propose to me.
I don't know how she knew that before I did. But I remember thinking that I was HUGELY jealous when he was with that other girl...whoever that is.
Before I even got to talk to the guy, we were already planning the wedding for St. Martin's church within just a few days. Even though it wasn't my home parish, it was his when he was growing up. Still, it sure seemed like we were rushing things.
I kept thinking that I needed to talk to Brian. (That's the future groom, Brian.) But I wasn't sure when I was going to get that chance. Strange, huh? Nevertheless, I kept planning the wedding.
So, I called out his name a couple of times. When he didn't answer at first, I thought that maybe it wasn't him. And I was feeling a little silly that I didn't even recognize my future husband. But he finally stopped his run and turned to look at me. Then we walked up to each other in the middle of the street...without saying a word.
Finally, he said, "Well? Think you're up to it?" (meaning the marriage proposal)
I told him that I thought so, but I had a few questions for him. My first question was about not getting married right away and actually having an engagement. He was all for waiting, if that's what I wanted.
I won't bore you with the other questions. But I will tell you that we worked things out and finally had our first real conversation about getting married. Then he kissed me right there in the middle of the street. It was so very sweet...and romantic. I never felt so in love. (Of course, it was a dream and EVERYTHING is more intense in a dream.)
Okay, I can't really explain how ANY of that relates to what's going on in my world. But top that off with the fact that Brian (in real life) is an openly gay man.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done;
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
But while recovering, Adrien's kidneys started to fail. His heart appeared to be doing well, but other parts of his body weren't. At one point, the doctors said that he needed a liver and kidney transplant and he needed them both before he'd ever leave the hospital. What are the chances that one young man can match donors on three different organs inside of a couple of weeks? We knew we'd need a miracle. So, we prayed harder.
Over the next few weeks, Adrien grew stronger. His kidneys began to heal and his liver was able to do its job. Surprisingly, he started falling lower and lower on the transplant list because the immediacy of his need lessened. We had been praying for matching donor liver and kidneys, but instead, God was healing Adrien. Ultimately, he left that hospital with the same liver and kidneys that he went in with... and a new heart that was beating just fine.
Tonight, I went to his wedding reception. And Adrien was DANCING!
He's not completely out of the woods. They recently found a spot on his liver and he may still need that transplant in his future. But this young man is blessed beyond measure. And happy. And married to a beautiful and obviously strong, Miss Chelsea! Two years ago, we never imagined that this day would come.
Nothing short of a miracle. Praise God!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Most people who know me at all, know just by looking at me that I'm not happy at work right now. God forbid someone actually ASK me how I'm doing. It's not good. Not only am I overwhelmed and frustrated with everything, but I'm simply NOT dealing with it very well...to the point that I'm venting regularly. Really, it's not good.
In the last couple of weeks, my mantra has pretty much become 'something HAS to change'. Today, a dear friend of mine reminded me that this place is not forever. "This place" could mean my current work environment. Or it could mean my lifetime on this planet. Both would be true. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.
Then I got home from work and was checking my email and reading my friends' blogs like I do every evening. I noticed the daily bible verse on my blog. The perfect verse for me to hear today...
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. - Colossians 3:23-24
I've said it before and I'm going to say it again... I LOVE how God speaks to me!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
- G Is for Gumshoe - Sue Grafton
- H Is for Homicide - Sue Grafton
- Through the Labyrinth of Writing Your Book - Anne Wayman
- One for the Money - Janet Evanovich
- Sundays at Tiffany's - James Patterson
- Plum Lucky - Janet Evanovich
- Lean Mean Thirteen - Janet Evanovich
- Shattering Glass - Gail Giles (Jeff's library book)
- Five Alive - Janet Evanovich (what I'm currently reading)
Monday, November 10, 2008
9. You've started questioning that 'no alcohol during working hours' policy.
8. EVERY - LITTLE - THING seems to get on your nerves. (co-workers who can't park, temperature controls in the office, anyone who's laughing while you're trying to work, the copier that constantly jams)
7. You have a killer headache within an hour of arriving at the office. Be careful...this will quickly develop into getting a headache ON THE WAY INTO the office.
6. You start looking for other jobs while ON the job...and you no longer care who sees you.
5. Your trash can and your INBOX are one and the same.
4. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you get through Monday.
3. You used to hate meetings, but now you use the 'down' time to write your memoirs.
2. You're starting to think that a week in jail would be a nice alternative to a week in the office.
1. You've had to resort to doubling your anti-depressant with your morning oatmeal in order to make it through another day without a work-related 'incident'.
BONUS: You openly vent about work on your publicly available blog.
I refuse to admit which of the above apply to me. But suffice it to say...PLENTY!
This is the fourth day in a row that I've been off work. And I'm off again tomorrow. WooHoo!! Five days in a row...no work. I love it!
Everyone needs an extended weekend every once in awhile. But I am hating (okay, not loving) my job right now. So, unfortunately I seem to need an extended weekend every month.
I hate it when I'm not enjoying my work. I just don't like what I'm doing. Actually, I don't really like my role right now. I don't like all the change and uncertainty around the office. I don't like feeling like I have half a dozen bosses. I don't like feeling behind all the time.
I've been unemployed in the past...for nine months in a row. I don't want that again. And I DO appreciate that I'm employed. I'm just NOT happy right now. I need to find a way to find peace in the office.
What I DO like.
1. Being employed.
2. The company I work for.
3. Making the money I do for being in such a small town.
4. Having a beautiful 20-minute commute to work, moving at 55mph.
5. Getting every other Friday off work.
6. Some of my co-workers.
7. The knowledge that I've gained.
8. Some of my customers.
9. Doing customer service.
10. The fact that I can post prayers in my cubicle and pray them when I need them...which happens to be fairly regularly.
Friday, November 7, 2008
We started with Matthew 6, The Lord's Prayer. "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be they name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven..."
He then had us flip to 2 Chronicles 7:14. "...if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
Though the entire verse is important, Mark kept going back to God's people humbling themselves. Only then would God's will be done.
What does humbling oneself mean? Accepting that we can't do it all on our own. Accepting that we must rely on our faith in God's dominion over all things. Accepting that God wants us to lean on Him in all things. And then not taking credit for His work.
By humbling ourselves, we accept that we cannot grow spiritually, lead others to Christ, effectively minister to others, or obtain the desires of our hearts without the grace of God. And that is why we pray to God daily, passionately, specifically, and intensely.
God loves it when we ask Him what His will is for our lives. Why? Because His will for each of our lives furthers the Body of Christ. So, we must humble ourselves and pray, and then follow the will of God. Each of us. Every day.
Easy enough, huh?
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
At first, I thought he was talking to the cat who was now begging for his dinner. But no, he was talking to me.
I wonder if there's a teenager translation dictionary out there where that means, "Hi, Mom! Welcome home!"
Sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you. Today? Bear 1, Mom 0.
Monday, November 3, 2008
My plan for the day was to get to the office early, work a few hours, and then spend the entire afternoon lounging on the lawn with the cat and a good book ("Lean Mean Thirteen" by Janet Evanovich). But that didn't happen. Ultimately, I worked nine hours. And they were somewhat frustrating hours.
I am having SERIOUS issues with my PC at work. First of all, it rebooted itself twice with no warning at all. Apparently due to some kind of security push. But still, it takes so darn long for the thing to boot up again, it wasted a lot of time. THEN I think I have a memory leak. I can only work for about two hours before I see significant degradation in performance. Obvious things too, like all of the icons on my desktop disappearing and multiple errors. So, I again reboot, which clears things up for awhile. But only for awhile.
I had lots to do today. That's always the case after being on travel. Not only the action items I 'earned' from our meetings last week, but also all the things that had to wait because I was away from my desk. Not to mention, it's the beginning of the month, so I have lots of reports and such to accomplish. Anyway, busy-busy. So, my day went quickly.
I had dinner with my friend Shannon who shares a birthday with me. We were born at the same hospital. AND our mothers shared the same hospital room! How crazy is that?!
The evening ended with bible study. We're studying the gifts of the spirit. Tonight was JOY. I LOVE that word. One of my favorites.
Happy birthday to me!