I don't know about you, but I am not the person I want to be. I'm not a bad person. And I'm not a failure. But I'm not complete either. I'm not 'finished'.
I truly believe that I have it within me to effect change in my life. I know that I can choose to eat differently and workout more regularly to make positive changes in my health and well-being, not to mention my physical appearance. I know that I can choose to read my bible daily, attend mass more than once a week, and say my prayers more consistently to enrich my walk with Jesus. I know that I am physically able to take better care of my home and my 'things'. But I don't always do those (and other) things that would bring me more inline with the person that I want to be.
It's not that I don't know HOW to do those things. It's not that I can't AFFORD to do them. It's not even that I don't have the TIME to make them happen. I simply don't commit to them and increase the self-control in my life. Self-control is in fact, one of the fruits of the spirit. It's mine to enjoy, to use, to grow, if I so choose. I simply haven't CHOSEN to do it. Oh, I keep SAYING I'm going to. And maybe I really think I AM going to...for a few days. But really, I'm no closer now to being the real me, the me that God intended me to be, than I was a year ago.
I have grown in some areas. My relationship with my son is oh-so-much better than it was three years ago. And I've grown professionally to the point where I feel that work is my career and not just a job. And I've grown spiritually, though really just in baby steps compared to what's really out there for me.
But baby steps are still steps. And as long as those steps are in the right direction, it can't be all bad. I had a conversation with my son this weekend about eating an elephant. He missed several days of school last week and had mucho-grande school work to do in order to catch up and qualify to graduate. He was so overwhelmed by some of it that he was paralyzed into inaction. I told him it was like eating an elephant. You have no idea how many bites it's going to take until you get started. And it all starts with the first bite. One bite at a time. THAT'S how you eat an elephant...one.bite.at.a.time.
So, I'm going to take Mr. Mark Victor Hansen's advice and record my dreams and goals on paper. And I'm going to keep them with me so that I can read them often. Then I'm going to come up with small, easy, baby-step, one-bite-at-a-time things to do in my everyday life that will move me closer to that person.