Thursday, October 27, 2016

Monday, October 24, 2016

Boo at the Zoo

So I went to the Zoo Friday night with my grandson and his Poppy and Memaw.  What a great time!  I love zoos, but I love Callan even more.  And he was such a sweet boy the entire evening.

First we drove from Dale to Evansville.  Callan and I talked in the back seat the whole way.  He told me about his cat LuLu.  We counted on our fingers.  And we sang a song about ducks.  Oh!  And we looked at pictures on my phone.  Callan was naming everyone he knew.

Then we went to dinner.  The food was good and so was the company.

Then we got his costume on.  Callan is a huge fan of Marshall from Paw Patrol.  So he dressed like a fireman and he was such a durn cutie.  We took all kinds of pictures and saw the animals.  When going up to the first table for candy, he walked right up there and said, "Do you have candy for me?"  Everyone laughed.  He was just so cute.  We then taught him that he was supposed to say, "Trick or Treat!"  He nailed it after that.

And he said, "Thank you" to everyone who gave him something.

He got scared a couple of times; Callan does NOT like spiders.  But all in all, it was a wonderful trip to the zoo.  I assure you, we all had a good time.  Thanks to Dave and Chris for inviting me.

We were hardly out of Evansville and Callan was already asleep in his car seat.  Boo at the Zoo can be exhausting, you know.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Lessons Learned

I’ve struggled the last couple of days with my emotions.  I have to say, that’s the first time since early in December.  I stop short of calling it depression.  I know how my depression makes me feel so low that I have no hope.  I had hope yesterday and the day before.  I honestly think I was just stressing about circumstances.

Stress can really take it out of a person.  I got myself so worked up over a meeting that I cried…that I couldn’t stop crying.  And as you might have guessed, the meeting went off without a hitch.  I spoke my piece; I listened to all responses.  And I ultimately felt better for having done so.  So why did I let myself get all worked up to the point where I cried and felt scared?

The short answer is, “I don’t know.  I honestly have no idea.”  You’d think I’d know better by now, how to incorporate the tips and tricks Robin has taught me and use them in my everyday life.  Take a step back.  Take a deep breath or two.  Look at the big picture.  Go to my happy place if I need to.  See, feel, hear those familiar and comfortable sounds.  Center myself strong.  And pray.

But we’re talking about my job here.  It’s important to me.  Not only do I want to stay employed, I want to stay employed in the job I’m currently holding.  And I want to do it well.  I enjoy it.  But sometimes I don’t feel smart enough to do it.  I wanted everyone to know that I’m doing my best and I want to continue doing my best, knowing that my best will only get better as time goes on.  I was only concerned that maybe they weren’t willing to wait for me to get better, that maybe my best wasn’t good enough at this point in time.

But that’s not the case.  They’re happy with me.  They said as much.  So I need to NOT let my emotions get the best of me.  I need to continue to focus on what I’m doing, doing the best I can for them.  And I need to continue to take care of myself by eating right, getting enough sleep, taking my meds, and praying.

I can do my part.  I WILL do my part.  No more forgetting my morning meds over the weekends.  No more skipping lunch.  No more staying up late to watch a football game and still expecting myself to get up at 5am for work.  And it’s time to get more physical and watch what I eat.  I can effect change in my mental health.  I’m worth it.  It’s time to prove that.