Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Whew!

I got a call from the nurse at my doctor's office today. She had the results from my blood work yesterday. This is what I learned...


  • my sugar level is good
  • my kidney function is good
  • my electrolytes are good
  • my hematocrit is good
  • and I'm not pregnant

Yeah, had that last one gone the other way, that would have been NEWS!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Friday, March 25, 2011

How I Learned to Mind My Own Business

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.' The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. Then someone poked me in the eye with a stick!!!



Then they all started shouting '14....14....14!!!'

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Facelift


I gave my blog a facelift.

My initial intention was to write a blog entry. But I just didn't have anything I wanted to say.

Nothing.

And that's SO not like me.

I haven't even been talking to myself. Very unusual. Good thing the television is on or it would be really boring here.

Anyway, enjoy the new look. https://scriptednotions.blogspot.com/

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Friday, March 18, 2011

God Bless These Modern Inventions

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number. Then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother."

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Irish Friendship Wish


May there always be work for your hands to do.

May your purse always hold a coin or two.

May the sun always shine on your windowpane.

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.

May the hand of a friend always be near you.

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

...and may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Out Sick

I have been home from work, sick all week. This cold (or whatever it was) has totally kicked my butt. The last four days, I've split my time fairly evenly between figuring out how to sleep without being able to breathe...and actually sleeping. I've accomplished a whole heck of a lot of nothing...unless going through an entire box of Puffs if being productive!


Today, I actually got dressed. I went to dinner with a friend. One, because I was ready to eat, but not ready to cook. And two, just to get out of my apartment for awhile. The act of getting ready for dinner (showering, getting dressed, putting on a bit of makeup) was exhausting. By the time I got home from dinner, I was ready to go to bed. But I told myself that I wasn't going to bed until at least 8pm.


I plan to go to work tomorrow. I've been out so long, I don't even really remember what's on my to-do list. How sad is that?! I've been off work FIVE DAYS in a row!!! I'm totally out of the loop. I'm sure I have more than a hundred emails to get through. And I have this report to run that I do weekly. I'll peruse the to-do list a few times... and probably update it with things from my email.


But my primary goal will be to get through the entire work day before falling over to take a nap.

Friday, March 11, 2011

The Cost of Pet Care

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon . As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."


The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"


"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.


The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried" $150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

So much...


I saw this picture while perusing the Internet and LOVED it. It's called "Overwhelmed" and was painted by Annie Preece. Check out her story: Annie Preece, Overwhelmed: A Painting from My Journey to Recovery


Okay, I don't have Annie's story. And thank God for that! But my head is just in too many places these days. It's making me a little dizzy. It's definitely keeping me awake at night. So much going on. So much to do. So much to remember. I don't know where to begin most of the time. I'm not even keeping up with the things I really need to be keeping up with. Fortunately, I feel like I'm keeping my head above water emotionally...most of the time...which is saying a lot for me. But I don't feel like I can say that in most aspects of my life. And that in itself is stressful. I just keep telling myself to keep going with the flow. That if I simply keep putting one foot in front of the other, things will ultimately find their right place. I don't know how true that is, but I have to believe that it is. Without hope, without faith, I'd be a basket case, I'm pretty sure. I don't need to be a basket case. I don't WANT to be a basket case. I am NOT a basket case!


Right?


So, in this painting which really speaks to me, each color represents an aspect of my life that my mind tries to process...and each change of direction is my mind jumping from one color to the next. Hard to focus on anything, isn't it?