Friday, January 8, 2016

Another Update...

I know it's been awhile.  Sorry.  I'll try to be more responsive in the future.

First of all, I feel great!  I haven't felt this good since I went four months this past summer without a depressive day.  I feel really good.  Check out my picture... clear skies!

Now tell me, based on those words, would you need to ask me half a dozen questions to determine how good I'm feeling?  Making me second guess how I'm feeling?  Making me wonder if I have any right to feel that good?  Well, my psychiatrist did.  So I fired her.

Yes, I did.  I fired her.

That wasn't my intention before I got to the appointment.  But within five to ten minutes of being there, I never wanted to see that woman again for any reason... ever.  And I won't.  Out of my life!  If I need a psychiatrist, and I think I probably do, then I'm going to have one that I'm comfortable with.  Not one that calls me twice a week and makes me cry harder than my depression.  Not one that makes me feel like every answer I give isn't good enough.  Not her.  Not even close.

And I'm done ranting about that.

I finally got out of the middle of the discussion between the cardiologist and the psychiatrist about medication.  Obviously the psychiatrist won that battle.  I was told not to take the Diltiazem anymore and to see Emily (the cardiologists nurse practitioner) in December.  I saw her.  My blood pressure and heart rate were down a little, so she doesn't want to see me again until next December.  I honestly wondered if my psychiatrist ticked them off and they were doing everything they could to get rid of me.  But seriously, my heart rate is now averaging in the high 80's.  So I think I'm out of the woods there.

Also in December, I started taking an anti-depressant.  I came off the Fetzima because it was blamed for my high heart rate.  And even though my new psychiatrist said that my heart rate should drop within 3-5 days, it's still dropping six weeks later, slowly but surely.  But I wasn't 100% emotionally on just the Latuda.  So she prescribed a low dose anti-depressant, Lexapro 5mg.  It's doing GREAT!  Really, I haven't felt this good since the summer.  I've taken Lexapro before, just not with the Latuda.

So, my heart rate is dropping.  It's taking a long time to drop after a workout, like two hours.  But on days that I don't work out, my heart rate is staying between 85 - 90bpm.  And it's been as low as 76bpm.  So all is well there.  And my depression is well at bay.  So other than looking for a new psychiatrist that will still allow me to keep my current counselor, I'm good.  I'm better than good.  I'm great!

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

It Is Well

I love this song.  I need to figure out how to put a shortcut on my phone that I can touch one time and bring up this song any time I need it.  Thank you, Kristene DiMarco and Bethel Music for sharing your gifts.


It Is Well

Kristene DiMarco and Bethel Music

Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice.
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard.

Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You.
And through it all, through it all, it is well.
And through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You.
And it is well with me.

Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see.
And this mountain that's in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea.

And through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You.
And through it all, through it all, it is well.
And through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You.
And it is well, it is well.

So let go, my soul, and trust in Him.
The waves and wind still know His Name.
So let go, my soul, and trust in Him.
The waves and wind still know His Name.
So let go, my soul, and trust in Him.
The waves and wind still know His Name.
The waves and wind still know His Name.

It is well with my soul.
It is well with my soul.
It is well with my soul.
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul.
It is well with my soul.
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well, it is well with my soul.

And through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You.
And through it all, through it all, it is well.
And through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you.
And it is well with me.