I have a confession to make...

I have a secret blog.


This subject came up in conversation at Friday's 89ers dinner. I've had blogs under this userid since 2005. Scripted Notions is actually the longest lasting of my blogs. I also maintain (well, kind of maintain) a couple more... one for Inspirational Emails that I receive and one for my Dreams. But I still have one that was the start of a book about four women commuting to work. But I haven't posted to that one in nearly two years. It's written under this userid as well; it's just not visible. It's not a secret. I just figure that since I'm not updating it, it makes sense not to display it.

But I have a completely separate blog. I log in with a different userid. I don't even have the same name on that one. I'm completely anonymous...or so I like to tell myself. That's where I REALLY vent about my world. I hold nothing back on that one. If I have a crush on someone who might actually read this blog, you won't see it here. But you could definitely read about it there. How I REALLY feel about work and some of the people there? Yep, that's there too. Some of my REAL fears and screw-ups? Uh-huh, it's in there.

Uhhhh, no, I am not going to tell you how you can find that one. It's public, so you could find it, if you really wanted to. I'm just not going to give you any hints to get there.

I've only had the new one for about a month. I guess I figured I needed another outlet to vent. Mostly because of the whole work situation.

I actually write out my journal entry on a piece of scrap paper that I carry around with me all day. It's really the back side of something I printed out, that I no longer need anymore. It's kind of my way of trying to be green. So, it's not really a 'piece' of scrap paper. It's an actual 8 1/2 X 11 sheet of paper with 'something' on the back side. I start out writing just like I'd write on a piece of notebook paper, relatively straight lines going from left to right, fairly neat handwriting in a small font. By the time I'm done, my lines are no longer straight and my writing is usually bigger and much sloppier. Eventually (usually when I get home, but not always), I type it in and mail it to my other blog. I don't edit it at all before publishing it. It's pretty much raw emotion, the way I was feeling when I wrote it out.

Not everything in my other blog is negative. Though Monday through Friday, it tends to lean that way. Much like this one, it's honest. But unlike this one, it's unedited. That's the difference. I promise, all of the really big things, you can read about them here.

And if you happen to find the other blog, don't tell anyone. ; )