Slacker

I've been slacking with my blog.  I've had plenty of time to type something up.  I just haven't made it happen.  So today's the day.

Nothing special going on in my world today.  Except that I got a picture of sweet little Xavier visiting with Santa.  That was the best part of my day.  So I'll share it.

In the first picture, he's checking Santa out.  Gotta know who's holding him.  In the second picture, he's probably clearing things with Mom to make sure all is well.

Personally, I think it's a very sweet first picture with Santa.  And I hope you get everything you asked for, little man.

I've been chatting it up with my big brother, Alan, about our plans to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra next week.  We're deciding where to do dinner and which route to take to avoid construction.  I'm starting to get excited.  It'll be me, Mom, and Alan.  Should be a good time.  And the start of another long weekend.  I like that too!

I've already started my fundraising for Relay for Life.  I've raised $385 of my $500 goal.  And last night, I finally mailed 20 donation request letters.  So I should get to $500 pretty quick now.  Then I won't have to worry about fundraising at all through the spring.  I'll be able to focus on the Survivor Dinners that I'm helping to coordinate.  One in Martin County on May 10th; one in Daviess County on June 10th.  Lord, bless those events.  Amen.

Hopefully I find the time, no, MAKE the time to blog a little more often.  And I won't have to call myself a slacker anymore.

Seven Word Status

I get to hang with Xavier tomorrow.

Sleep

Do you have an unexplained fear?  Something you worry about that doesn't need worried about?  I do.  I worry EVERY NIGHT that I won't get to sleep.  EVERY.NIGHT.


It could be because I've been an insomniac before, getting as little as two hours of sleep multiple nights in a row.  But that's been years ago.  I haven't fought that kind of insomnia in quite some time.


It could be because I get up at 5am to get to work by 6am.  I'm always afraid I won't get enough sleep in before my alarm goes off.  But that's usually my fault for staying up too late to watch something I think I need to watch.


It could be because I love my sleep so much... and I love my dreams so much... that I feel like I'm going to miss them if I don't get to sleep right away.  That would be sad.


But I think it all comes down to having anxiety about sleep a couple of years ago.  My depression was really bad and I was fighting bouts of anxiety every evening about getting to sleep.  It was horrible.  My whole body would shake and I'd be scared to death.  I could feel my heart rate racing in my chest.  I'd curl up into a ball and pray and cry.  Eventually it would all subside and I'd fall asleep.


I don't fight that depression and anxiety today.  Thank God!  And I even have a couple of medications that help me sleep.  One makes me tired over time, though not as much as it did when I first started taking it.  The other makes me want to fall asleep within about half an hour.  I use them both wisely.  But today, I get sleep.


So it begs the question, why do I still have this unexplainable fear about not getting to sleep EVERY NIGHT?  I can't explain it.  But as long as it doesn't dredge up the anxiety I remember from two years ago, I can handle it.


Sleep well, my friends.  I think we all deserve a good night's sleep.