Friday, May 15, 2015


I've been doing mostly better the last few weeks.  I was finding that for about 24 hours after talking with my counselor for an hour, I was pretty emotional.  I figure I was still processing some of the topics we discussed.  The last two weeks, I've noticed that I have a really flat, anti-social, blah Sunday followed by a really bad Monday in the office.  I chalked it up to things being stressful at work and not wanting to deal with all that.

But today I went in to work with a list of things I wanted to accomplish, knowing that things should be fairly quiet as only two of the five of us would be in the office.  Things started out just fine.  But by 10:30, I totally crashed.  Totally.  I couldn't stay another minute.  I couldn't deal with another person.  I can honestly say, I was ready to quit.  QUIT MY JOB!  Some little voice in my head was telling me what a bad idea THAT was.  So I knew I needed to get out of there before I did or said something I couldn't take back.

Now I'm home.  I cried it out.  I got something to eat.  And now I'm ready to get back to work.  All by myself.  In my living room.  I'm going to put in a movie I've seen a million times, just for some background noise.  I'm going to charge my Blackberry, in case someone needs to get in touch with me.  And I'm going to process three surveys and type up a good description of our Vendor Selection tool, including references from the FAR.

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