The following story could be fictitious. Once upon a time there was a mother and son who lived in a small home in a small town. Actually, the mother lived there and the son only visited occasionally as he was away at college. One particular Saturday night, the mother agreed to let the son drive her car for the evening, even though she originally had plans to drive it herself. The son was asked to be careful and even agreed to put gas in the car. There appeared to be an understanding between the mother and the son to the point that the mother was comfortable leaving the local area, trusting her son would not disappoint her by breaking the rules.
Though not mentioned specifically that Saturday night, the standing rules are: No sex. No drugs. No alcohol. No cigarettes. No breaking any laws. No breaking any hearts. And no doing anything that will embarrass your mother. The son has heard these rules enough to know them by heart.
Upon getting home from her night out with friends, the mother went to bed. The son still wasn't home, but he had sent a text message letting the mother know where he was and what he was doing. The mother was not worried about the son and was just comforted knowing that he was with friends, enjoying an evening of camaraderie.
The next day, the mother had to get up and go to church where she was to be the song leader. Upon seeing her car, she was shocked that apparently someone found the need to throw mud at it from all directions. She was careful not to soil her church clothes as she opened the car door. To her dismay, the interior reeked of cigarette smoke. Her blood pressure immediately increased. Even if the son wants to ruin his health by smoking, he has been told repeatedly that the mother does NOT like the smell of smoke and NO ONE is allowed to smoke in her home or her car. As she sat in the driver's seat, it was apparent that someone (most likely the son, but no one knows for sure) had sprayed a smelly spray throughout the car, probably in an attempt to cover up the cigarette smoke. The windshield and rear-view mirror would need to be cleaned in order to have a safer view when driving. But there was not time to accomplish this task prior to having to be at the church.
Before even leaving the driveway, said car was making a ringing sound and displaying on the dashboard that it was in dire need of fuel. Again, having not enough time to perform this necessary task prior to church, the mother prayed that she could make it to a gas station on her way home...which she did.
When these issues were raised to the son, he insisted that he could explain. He provided a story about having to go fetch a drunk friend from a party in the middle of nowhere, running out of gas, and getting stuck in the mud. Prior to getting home, his friend got sick in my car and that's why it smells like a cross between 'ewwwww' and 'too-many-flowers-for-such-a-small-space'. But the son ensured her that he had taken the time to clean out the car.
The mother doubted the words of the son. First of all, the car didn't smell like someone got sick in it. It smelled like someone smoked in it. And the ashes on the door and the dash only further supported her theory. Second, it was not obvious that anyone had been sick in the car. Unfortunately the car is filthy enough that the one clean spot would have glaringly stood out. Third, the mother is not sure that the son's friend would have even called to get a ride home. He's not a very smart drunk (as if there was such a thing) and likely would have driven himself home...unless of course he couldn't find his own truck.
As the son was explaining his side of the story, the mother noticed his packed bags sitting at his feet. He explained that he needed to head back to campus as he had an interview. The chances of that being true is about as likely as it being untrue. The mother figures, why speculate at this point. It would be just as believable that the son was heading back to college just to remove himself from the one place on the planet where he'd have to endure the wrath of the mother.
So, the son has returned to the safety and comfort of his college dorm room, a full 48 hours prior to planning to do so. Just as well as the mother didn't really have the time to build a dog house for him to sleep in.
I received an email this morning that said: 
