Heavy Heart

Recently, like the last couple of months, I've been fighting a heavy heart.  I don't know why things are bothering me so much lately.  It's not like circumstances have changed all that much.  But for some reason, lately I find myself shaking my head or cringing or even crying when I read/hear some of the comments from people near and dear to me.

There's always been mud-slinging between politicians.  And even between their supporters...whether they be political pundits on national news stations or the average Joe down the street with an opinion.  But lately, it all just seems so ugly.  EVERYONE appears to want to get in on the game.  And not only do they state their opinion on 'their man', they have to put down 'the other guy'.  But worse, my one friend has to put down my other friend who supported 'the other guy'.  And then my other friend has to say something equally as cruel.

Heck, if everyone was to be believed (and I honestly think most people -- at least my friends, maybe not the professionals -- think they're giving a clear picture), neither candidate is a good choice.  Neither party can effect positive change.

It's been a long time since I chose not to vote.  But I'm seriously leaning that way this year.  I just don't think I want to be a part of it anymore.  It's just so hard to know what the truth is.

But I'm veering from my point.  My point is, why do real people, the people in my world, people that I've grown to love and adore for years...why do they have to get so ugly with each other?!

Let's take the whole Chick-fil-A situation.  I believe in free speech, even when someone is allowed to say something I don't agree with and don't want to hear.  I don't think the world should be all that surprised that the top brass at Chick-fil-A supports a traditional marriage.  I mean, his business has forever been closed on Sunday for a reason.  And why should his stance on traditional marriage have to change simply because he owns a business?

But honestly, I don't know why most people even CARE what his opinion is on traditional marriage.  If every business that provides a service was polled with various questions, they're either going to lie about some things, avoid them completely, or offend one group or another by telling the truth.

But then it comes out that Chick-fil-A might possibly fund groups that go too far to fight for traditional marriage.  So what started out as a business owner practicing free speech turns into a business owner and his entire company (and any of their patrons and supporters) being viewed as haters.

I like Chick-fil-A.  I support free speech.  I support traditional marriage. But I don't consider myself a hater.  I don't hate gay and lesbian people.  I just don't think they should be married.  Personally, I think it should be a lot harder for everyone to get married! And for me, it's a biblical thing.  Mostly, I'm tired of Christians being beat into submission.  Every other group out there seems to have the freedom to voice their beliefs.  But we have to shut up so as not to offend anyone.

And I find myself doing just that...shutting up, just so I don't have to debate about it...even with my own friends who ALREADY KNOW where I stand on the issue.  Why do they continue to push me on the subject? I feel bullied by my own friends!

And then we have a shooter in a movie theater in Aurora.  Is he depressed and delusional?  Is he outright crazy?  Is he perfectly sane, and just a maniacal killer?  So many lives adversely affected because of one guy's murderous plan.

And then the gunman at the Sikh temple in Wisconsin.  What the heck?  They think he was from a white supremacist group.  He killed six people and wounded at least three others before being killed by the police.  Just so much hate in the world.

I just think this world is falling apart.  And I don't say that lightly.  I think that the world had better end soon because I don't think we can get any better.  I don't think we're doing the best we can and I have zero confidence that we'll improve.  We don't take care of ourselves, each other, or our planet.  We have little to no respect for each other, especially those that are different from us.  We completely turn our backs on the Word of God.  It just scares me to imagine it getting any worse.  But I honestly can't imagine it getting any better.  And shame on us!

I have faith.  And I pray.  I'm just not sure what to pray for lately.  I've resorted to praying for peace...not world peace necessarily, but peace of mind.  I stopped praying for God to give me the words to respond with when I'm feeling attacked.  I just want to feel a peace, that He has everything under control and I don't have to worry about all these hateful, petty arguments down here.  And I know in the end, He wins.  But more and more often, it just worries the heck out of me (it outright scares me) to think that so many people would rather attack each other than find some semblance of peace.